The Value of Trust

 Recently, the movie, Meet the Parents has been on many of the movie channels. As much as we laugh at the antics of Ben Stiller’s character, we also giggle at Robert De Niro’s character and his “Circle of Trust.” As I was watching that movie, I realized that so many of us lack trust because people have broken trust with us. We have believed false information and false narratives. I used to believe that I didn’t trust anyone, but I was wrong. I trusted everyone that surrounded me, and that’s what got me in trouble, and it gets many of us in trouble. It’s what created a lack of trust.

 

When I was young, my parents divorced and somehow, many people believed that they needed to guide me with advice. I don’t blame them for their bad advice. I blame me for taking their bad advice. I took it because I trusted them. Some people revealed why I should not have trusted them in a short time. Others revealed why I shouldn’t have trusted them once a relationship was built with depth, and it’s that when I realized that broken trust is difficult to repair. It’s that broken trust that many of us struggle to trust today in our time of quarantine.

 

There have been so many messages from so many different people and no one will admit when they are wrong. That is what breaks trust. I can trust someone who admits when they are wrong. I cannot trust someone who changes their words and or their rhetoric and never admits that they were wrong in the past or why they have changed from the past. If people do not admit that they are wrong, then they do not admit to their own flaws and wrongdoings, which breaks trust. Trust is built when we can admit to our flaws and wrongdoings and change from doing them. People who cannot admit to being wrong or why they have changed have a history that shows that they are unfaithful. Their lies reveal that they are untrustworthy.

 

When we change from our old ways, we don’t have to tell others our wrongs, but we can realize that the old way is gone and the new has come, which builds a new trust. It’s why I can trust God. Jesus did not throw out the old law; he completed it. I can trust God because I have seen what he has done in my life and in the lives of other people. Many people lose trust in God because of how people have behaved. God is not a person. Science is not a person. It’s not the message people do not trust; it’s the messenger. In order for people to see God, we must be trustworthy.

 

Being trustworthy as a person means we must act. Our actions speak louder than words. If we disagree with someone, we must be kind. If you want to be trustworthy and begin name calling and degrading someone, you are not going to gain any trust, and your information will be disregarded. You are just pushing your agenda. I know because I’ve had that occur many times in my life.  

 

Our world needs trustworthy people. We don’t have to trust all the information that is being fed to us by any media source, but we do need to begin to trust each other. We need to believe that people want the best for each and every person. In order to trust other people, we need to be trusted. Our trust may have been broken, but we can build it back when we apologize and admit that our actions were wrong.

 

Tomorrow I will meet my new students. I will have to gain their trust. I cannot call them names or degrade them. in fact, it is through encouragement that trust will be built. It is through love that trust will be built. When we love God, others and ourselves, then we will be able to build trust with and for others. My final words are from a passage that many Christians have memorized and many of us need to practice. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Adventures in a Quarantined Summer

 Every summer since 2015, I have been able to travel and visit friends from college, Bible Bowl, and high school. This year, life has been quarantined, and I have had different adventures. During the first four months of quarantine, I was looking for a new job. My school was downsizing, and since I taught elective English classes last year, (and I’m expensive because of credentials and years taught) I was laid-off. I’ve already been through one school closing, and I don’t want to be in another one, so I was actually relieved to go somewhere new. (There was and is no ill will.) It took time because I really didn’t want to teach at a charter school, but this is difficult times and charter schools are hiring. Each time I pray for what I want, God gives me what I need, and this time was no exception.

 

I applied to schools to teach online, which pay significantly less than in-person teaching, districts that are not hiring but interviewed me anyway and private schools. I applied to one and only one in-person charter school. I got the job. God doesn’t work in just mysterious ways; he works in humorous ways. God does what is best, which will always provide for our needs. Although we will be teaching online for at least the first semester, I wanted to see the campus and get a vibe for the community where the students live. So, yesterday, I went on an adventure.

 

This charter school is in an entire system of charter schools. They do have two schools near downtown Los Angeles, but not the one where I was hired, which I found out yesterday. I knew the name of the street and ditched Google maps and decided to go my way until the street numbers were wacky and I was going out of downtown Los Angeles. I found my school on the border of Pasadena, Eagle Rock, and Highland Park. For my friends outside of Los Angeles, it’s on the other side of downtown Los Angeles, and not close to the downtown at all. It’s close to the mountains. It’s pretty.

 

I love exploring new places. Of course, I went off the trail a bit afterward and found a cute little bookstore at the bottom of the mountain where our church camp is located. I may not have traveled very far, but the adventure is not in the place but in the people that I will encounter. People make life so much better, and that is where many of us are struggling in this pandemic. The adventure always requires me to trust God and what is best for me in my life and not always what I want.

 

God has given me the best jobs throughout my lifetime. I have met some of my closest friends and have inspired many young people to live their lives for Jesus and make a difference in the world. Change can be scary and not always easy, but it is necessary as it creates growth and brings new adventures that requires us to trust God just a bit more in life. New adventures also create reflection of where we have been and where we are going.

 

The direction for life in this quarantine for me is taking a turn as I have to teach and do most of my communication with others online. While most of us have to sit behind our computers to communicate, we may need to resolve to be kind. I know I have had my share of times of not being kind. People are struggling with loss of jobs, loss of life with family members and friends, and loss of relationships. We can argue about politics all day long and not one thing will change in our country or in our world. We can encourage people and we can make a huge difference in the world without even leaving our home. I have been surprised for someone to tell me the words that I have said, both good and bad that have changed them. Our words make a difference in the lives of others.

 

The impact we make on the world can make a difference. You don’t have to be a teacher to hundreds of students. You can be someone who encourages family members that are struggling. If we want a change in the world, we have to do it. We need to stop relying on someone else to do what we can do, especially anyone in government. It’s taken me many years to discover this. Let us all take an adventure and explore new ideas of how to encourage more and argue less. With our new adventures, let us discover ways to make a difference, whether it is through the arts or technology. If we are so busy working to make a difference in the world, we will have less time to argue or to post the same stuff on social media that angers people. It’s healthier way to live. It’s life giving. It’s the way that God wants us to live.  

 

The Masked Bandit

I refuse to get into the mask debate during this pandemic. The masks that I notice are invisible to the eye, but if we look closer, we can see them. We all wear one at some point. Most of us deny that we do, but trust me, I have worn the masks so many times that when I take one off I can barely recognize myself. We hide behind our masks. We wear masks that profess to the world of who we are, and yet, underneath our masks, we are not that person.

The mask of shame. Throughout my life, leaders have guilt-shamed me so much that I have to remember my true identity in Christ and take that mask off and discard it. These leaders are Christians in the church and non-Christians in places where I have worked or volunteered. Guilt-shaming had me serve in areas that I had no business serving and my attitude was one of anger and resentment. I never represent Christ when I wear my mask of shame. People try to guilt shame on social media. I can tell you you’re right, but on my side of the computer, I’m not going to wear a mask of shame. I’m going to be transparent or wear a mask of lies.

The mask of lies. We must be honest and realize that at some point in our lives we have all worn a mask of lies. If we say we haven’t, we’re lying. We even justify our lies. We say we lie not to hurt someone, but once they realize the truth, they are more hurt. Lies trap us. The truth frees us. We need to be honest with ourselves and others. If we can be honest with ourselves first, then we can be honest with others. When we lay down the mask of lies, we then realize who our allies and adversaries are.

The mask of hypocrisy. Like the mask of lies, most people have at one point in their lives worn a mask of hypocrisy. It clouds our vision of who are allies and adversaries are. We say we believe one thing, but we do the exact opposite. The most difficult part of this mask is that we actually believe our hypocrisy. Most of us do not even see our own hypocrisy as we throw down memes on social media that prove an argument. We need to be careful, as this mask can be layered. Once we take off the mask, we usually have one behind it hiding because we are fearful to reveal the truth of our authentic selves.

All of these masks cover us and protect us from the truth. These masks protect us from people criticizing us, until they recognize the truth and then we are discredited. We need to strip these masks away and keep them off. These masks cover-up Christ in our lives. We don’t always recognize it, but people can see our masks, even if we wear them on social media. We need to throw these masks off and breathe in the breath of God and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us, so we can bring the Holy Spirit to our world that so needs healing in many ways right now. Once we are transparent and true to ourselves, the world around us will see the grace of God and begin to wonder how to have His grace in their own lives.

What is Truth?

During this pandemic, I have been reading through the Gospels. I notice the details of events and words of Jesus and of others. I noticed the words that Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?” For most Christians, we give the nice quick answer that Jesus is the truth and we Christians know and have the truth. For the most part that is true. I do know that I have questioned what truth is.  For the past twenty-nine years of my life, I have worked with teenagers. When incidents occur among them, I try to search for the truth. I find myself asking, “What is truth? Who is telling the truth? How do you know this person is telling the truth and this person is not?” During this pandemic, these are all valid questions we all need to be asking of the media, the “experts,” the politicians, and even our own selves.

Facts prove truth. This can be true, but if you have read enough crime and drama, you know that facts can prove truth for both sides of the argument. There are some facts that are true, such as the coronavirus is a virus that affects human beings. Argue all you want. That is a true fact. There could be more details to that fact, but it is a fact that is true. The details can sometimes bring in the areas that make some more facts, that could be debatable. Then, we have a problem, so I ask, “What is truth?”

The Internet is full of facts. Some of the facts are skewed to fit an agenda whether that agenda is political or religious, but they are facts. People will claim that since these facts exist that they are true. Do we not remember that scientists called it a fact that the earth was flat? Now, we call people lunatics that believe that the earth is physically flat. The truth had to be discovered. Maybe that is it. Maybe instead of sharing articles or memes, we need to be searching for and discovering the truth. That will take time.

Time is what we have. Time proves truth. In time, the guilty confess to their crimes. In time, science is proven as bacteria grows or dissolves. With time, we can read entire books that teach us the truth of history. With time, we can watch historical documentaries that have facts. Sometimes, in time, the truth gets distorted.  People forget facts. Some people no longer exist that knew the facts. Time can prove facts, but it can also distort facts. We need to be wise with time and look at the entire context.

Truth gets distorted when we hear the facts but we don’t want to hear them because we have believed different facts all of our lives. We have to question if what we learned was truth or someone else’s version of the truth. I wonder how many young people in twenty years will be wondering what truth is with the facts that we are dispensing to them today. For me, these questions came when I went to Washington D.C. for the first time with my private school in 2013. I taught at that school, and as an adult, I was hearing stories, reading stories, and seeing archives for myself and wondered why I was not taught any of these truths in school. I didn’t learn them because the truth was distorted when people wrote about history without going to historical places or without much research. Besides, most of our history books are like reading a pamphlet on a detailed place, which is never going to dispense many facts or truth.

The truth becomes distorted when human beings begin to give their viewpoints. The truth becomes distorted when people want to hide facts in order to have people believe their viewpoint or believe their agenda. The truth becomes distorted when we only see the facts that benefit our agenda. The truth becomes distorted when we refuse to listen to the other person in the argument. The truth becomes distorted when we refuse to research for ourselves. We have to stop distorting the truth.

The truth is always revealed. It may not be in our lifetime, but it will be revealed. Having worked with teenagers, I take my time to discover the truth. I want to err with being slow in investigating instead of quick to a wrong verdict and demean or question a person’s character that is not deserving of that. This is how I also have remained in the truth of Christ. I had to discover what were human created rules, rituals, and laws, and what the actual truth is in the Bible and in Christ.

Even though Christians have injured my spiritual life, I have always searched for the facts and the truth. It has taken research, time, and building community with other people, both Christians and non-Christians. I have discovered that with the truth of Jesus, even though people distort His words, it does not mean that His words are not true. It means that we as human beings, need to listen to the truth of Jesus and begin living the truth of Jesus, and then others will see the truth of Jesus. There is a caution though in discovering the truth of Jesus: it will no longer be safe or comfortable, but it will be the truth.

Wisdom from the Movie, "The Hobbit": Sickness and Tragedy

I know that I’m behind in my movie experience, but I just started watching The Hobbit series, since I have so much time, and when I hear the character Gandalf speak, I’m usually grabbing for a pen to write down his wisdom. It started in the beginning when he stated, “Where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.” How appropriate for our current state of being. We have a physical sickness thriving throughout our world and already we can see the bad things following. It’s how we respond that will make a difference in our relations with others.

The sickness of coronavirus revealed the evil of social media. Scroll through social media and you will recognize the anger seething in people. Anger is not a sin; it’s what you do when you are angry that is a sin. When you belittle people or guilt-shame people, it’s sin. In the social media world, we have to remember most of us do not put our whole lives on the Internet. How we respond when someone disagrees with us reveals more about us then it does with the person who disagrees with us. If we are kind and gracious and explain ourselves, we reveal our kindness. If we are name-calling, belittling, and guilt-shaming, then we reveal to be angry and bitter people who struggle in life and refuse to deal with our own lives. First, we need to heal our own hurts, and then we can begin to inspire others. Now is the time that people need life affirming words not insults, belittlement, and guilt-shaming.

When the coronavirus began in America, panic ensued and people hoarded food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and water. When people fear, they don’t share resources but they hoard them. Now that time has passed, items are returning to store shelves, but we have to recognize that as a society, we tend to hoard. I hoard books. We hoard because we fear we will not have it in the future. With sickness, we hoard food and water because we want survival, not realizing that the most important action we could take with this sickness was to think of others and not hoard.

Murders occurred before the pandemic, but the videos went out during the pandemic and protests occurred. The protests revealed another sickness in our society and that is racism. Evil has ensued because of racism. People are tearing down people and not listening to them or being rude when they ask a question. It’s time that we listen and ask sincere questions. It’s time for many to become good teachers and answer those pesky questions with grace and love so that the person asking can learn, or else the sickness of racism will get worse, which will make life worse for all.

The sickness of COVID-19 caused businesses to close for a short while, but for some businesses the short while was too much and they had to close permanently or scale back on their employees. Many people lost their jobs. The sickness caused many to spiral into poverty. Instead of screaming at people on social media, it’s time we all look to those we can help, even if it is just purchasing something small on the Internet.

The sickness of coronavirus caused everyone to quarantine and stay in their homes. For the short term, many people were able to clean their homes, connect with their family, and finish projects that they started. After about two weeks, emotions raged. People spun into depression. Anxiety is high in homes where children are frustrated with homeschooling and not being able to play with friends. We all need to take the time to reach out to those who may be struggling with being home.

The coronavirus thrived and bad things have occurred. We cannot continue to allow the bad things to happen. We need to be aware of what we say and do in order to have good things happen. When we are healthy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, we just might also become healthy physically. The Bible gives great advice. “Be quick to listen and slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 (NIV) We need to listen before we speak, and when we do speak, we need to speak the truth in love not anger. We don’t need to win arguments. We need to listen. We need to speak with wisdom and truth in love. Let’s conquer the bad and the sickness may just diminish. I’m not a doctor or an expert, but I do know from experience that when love surrounds people, health abounds.

The Truth of Freedom

Freedom comes with a price. “Nothing is ever free; someone has to pay for it.” Erwin McManus. Those are wise words that have enlightened and haunted me. I love to receive free things when I visit places. I love for events that could cost are free. I never stop to think that someone had to sacrifice in order for me to enjoy the event or the possession that is free. Maybe it’s time we all begin to think of what freedom for a country really is.

“Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?” This line is repeated in the last song in the musical, Hamilton. This weekend we celebrate the birth of a young country that is finally recognizing its sins of how so many people have not been treated equally with freedom. We cannot change the past, but we must learn from it in order to have freedom for all people. We cannot say we learned history in school. Our textbooks and teachers taught an incomplete history. Even though our country is young, you cannot teach complete history of 400 years in one school year.

In order to change the present and move forward for a better future, we have to discover the truth of our past. I have visited historical sites in Washington D.C. and discovered that slavery was harsh and the living conditions were inhumane. Slavery was not in any form glamorous. They were not treated equally or with gentleness. They were not treated like humans. We must now repent from our past and begin to treat all people as human beings. I know most people will say that they do, but I’ve read your social media posts, and I question if Americans really do treat people equally. If we don’t, we don’t have freedom.

That trip to Washington D.C. taught me many more of the truths of American history, and I wondered while I was there why none of these truths were taught to us in school. Now is the time to discover the truths of American history. This is not just for people that some people consider need to learn the truth. All Americans need to read, watch documentaries, go to historical places, and discover historical truths.

As a Christian, there are many people who do not know the truth of Christ. Christ brings freedom, but we only have that freedom when we know the truth of Christ. Many people will use scripture to defend their political arguments. Satan did that when he tempted Jesus. That’s misusing truth and distorting it. I have seen portions of scripture being used out of context. We need to use truth to bring people to the freedom of Christ, which is why we need to know the truth of Christ. In order to know the truth of Christ, it takes more than attending church. We must read, study, and connect with others to discover and understand the truth of Jesus.

Freedom comes with a price. That price is not just what our ancestors did. It comes with what we do today. Every day we have to make a choice of how we will treat people with whom we encounter. Our treatment of those people will determine if we live in freedom or if we are chained in bondage. No one is perfect, despite all the berating on social media, everyone has been chained in bondage with their ill treatment of others. It connects to sin.

As Christians, we were given freedom in Christ through his ultimate sacrifice. When someone pays the ultimate price for freedom, you would think that the lives of those affected would change drastically, but they don’t. We still treat people with rudeness, cruelty, and hatefulness. When we are unkind with our words, we are in bondage of sin and not accepting the freedom that Christ gave us with the sacrifice of his life. When we believe that people are inferior to us or treat them that way then we are living in the bondage of sin and refusing to live in the freedom of Christ. Most people I know would say that they are not doing these things or are trying to be better, but there is more.

When we refuse to empathize, and listen to the truth through stories of people who have different experiences than us and are hurting, we are giving into the idea of sin because when we do not listen or empathize, we are living with the belief that we are better than others, which gives freedom to no one. In our current times, our African-American brothers and sisters are hurting and begging for those of us who are white to listen to the truth and empathize. Listening without thinking of what to say next and empathizing is a start. Then, when we pray for forgiveness and solutions, we can discover one area in which we can make a difference. Then, we are not just saying that freedom is for everyone, but we are actually living it.

Christ gave his life for everyone. Anyone can accept Christ. We cannot give up on those who may reject Him or do not know Him. We have to desire freedom for everyone. When we know the truth, the truth will set us free, as we will discover that the freedom came from the ultimate price of the sacrifice of Jesus. May we all take this time to discover the truth.

Loving Others: Easier Said Than Done Especially on Social Media

As I scroll through social media, I wonder if any of us really know how to love other people. By no means am I an expert on love. I have not been in the best dating relationships, but I hope I have grown and learned from them. Loving others is difficult, but it is necessary. As Christians, we need to love others with the love of Jesus. I wonder if we really understand what that means.

An expert in the law wanted to test Jesus, so he asked him how he could have eternal life. Jesus asked him what was written in the law. He quoted Jesus’s two greatest commandments to love God and to love his neighbor as himself. Jesus said he was correct, but the expert wanted to test Jesus further and asked who is my neighbor? Then Jesus told the story of the good Samaritan. When a Jewish man was robbed, a priest and a Levi passed by him, but a Samaritan, who was hated by the Jews, stopped, helped, paid for his medical care, and made sure he was healthy. The expert had to admit that the Samaritan was the neighbor.

If we modernize this, we can see it this way. A person of your opposite political beliefs or different ethnicity or of a different religion is beaten up and lying on the ground. Are you the priest, the Levi, or the Samaritan? Once we view it from a modern-day stance, it takes on a different meaning for us. It can become real. Looking through social media, I wonder how many Good Samaritans are really in our society today. We all need to begin to love our neighbors as ourselves.

When we truly love others, we have empathy. A famous pastor at the Thrive Summit said that if we have to undermine someone when they cry out hurting by saying, “But what about…” Then we are not being empathetic. When a person cries out, “This is what matters to me right now,” and we respond with, “But what about,” we are not being empathetic or loving but trying to have our voice heard over their pain. In fact, they would perceive it as silencing their pain. Being empathetic means that you listen with genuine concern and speak with them and be there for them.

Next, we need to end, “us” vs. “them.” This can be with religious or political viewpoints. If we see the other group of people as the enemy or stupid, or evil, then how do we get them to change? Once you call me any of those names, I’m done listening. We must work together with different views. Compromise occurs all the time in relationships that are successful. When I was in unhealthy relationships, compromise was only one-sided. All of us need to compromise.

We need to listen.  We need to communicate clearly. In the world of social media; we have lost the art of communication. The moment someone creates a meme, they believe that is the definitive ending and there is no other debate. Having taught debate, that is incorrect. In fact, many times, I can see the other side, even when I agree with the meme. A meme brings forth many questions. If we are going to speak in memes, we better be ready to answer questions…with love and truth. Once we become angry, we are no longer loving.

We need to study and research. There are many pieces of literature that can help us bring reconciliation. We have to read beyond with what we agree. A long time ago, at a Youth Specialties Youth Workers Convention, we were challenged to go to seminars and buy books by people with whom we disagree. Then we were to discover why we disagree and how we can agree in some areas and work together. Whenever I look at books or magazines today, I try to diversify and read literature with whom I have disagreements. I don’t walk away changed, but I can see the common ground of everyone trying to do something to make the world a better place for all people. It also challenges my thoughts and why I believe what I do and strengthens my beliefs. It also keeps me from being arrogant or rude when people ask questions. I actually can find the answers for them.

Most importantly, we need to care for people. We need to treat people how we want to be treated. We need to show people that we are listening and that we are truly empathetic with their hurts or concerns. I’m trying to continue to work on this. If loving others was easy, everyone would have perfect relationships, but it is not. Anything worth doing must take work. Love takes work and it is well worth it. May we all look at how Jesus loves us and become the Good Samaritan to those who truly need it.