Giving Grace is NOT Easy

Christians throw the word “grace” around as if it is a resource that is in abundance. Grace from God is in abundance, but grace from human to human is not.  Humans must learn to give grace generously to those who need it most.  Those who need the most grace are people who are the hardest to love.  They are the ones that we may disagree with politically, or morally, or on theological issues.  We give grace generously to those that we genuinely adore.  They make it easy, which then proves that we as humans must be more generous with our grace giving because giving grace is anything but easy.

It has taken me years to understand that people who point out the faults in others refuse to look at their own faults, sins, and mistakes.  If I’m so focused on others, I don’t need to do anything to fix me.  If I don’t focus on me and focus on others, then no one else will focus on me.  It is that last phrase that I discovered how social media made me realize how wrong I was.  When I refuse to look introspectively and work on my faults and only see the faults in others, many around me see right through me and can determine how broken I really am. 

Grace means I know the sin that is in me, and that God has forgiven me of it with his life.  Grace means that I give others the room to fail.  Grace means that I don’t point out others’ flaws or mistakes or sins, but I see the good and the potential that they have to make a difference in the world.  Grace means that I love those who are the most difficult to love.  Grace means that I stop seeing the worst in people.  Grace means that I don’t judge people for what they think or believe, but that I accept them for who they are. 

Jesus forgave Paul who was killing Christians.  The disciples had to learn to accept Paul into their circle and believe that God had changed his heart.  I believe that the disciples were able to accept Paul because they all had looked inside of themselves and realized that they missed so much when Jesus was on earth with them.  Jesus gave them grace.  They had to give it to someone else. 

We cannot fix or change everyone.  In fact, the truth is we cannot fix or change anyone but our own selves.  Even therapists and psychologists cannot fix or change people without the individuals making the changes within themselves first.  The counselor can only give them the advice and wisdom.  The patient must put it into practice.  Admitting that we are flawed is difficult. Looking into myself and realizing that I am the only person who can change or fix makes life easier to see other people. 

Our society needs grace.  We need to stop getting in the faces of young and old people without giving them grace first.  We need to stop with political jargon without grace.  Grace.  If it was only something we said at dinner time, it would be easy, but God did not call us to do the easy, but to do what is right. 

Peace and Love

The title may appear a bit like a hippy era revolution, but it’s not.  It’s referring to the two words that Martin Luther King Jr. believed and practiced during his leadership in the Civil Rights Movement.  He desired that we would be a country with equal rights for all people no matter their ethnicity, religious beliefs, or gender.  I was not alive during his days as a Civil Rights leader, but I have seen our country through the times we are now.  What happened?  How can we return to those ideals?  Can we have those ideals?

Here’s what happened.  We didn’t change.  We didn’t grow.  We pretended.  It’s not everyone, but for those who didn’t change and grow, they are loud now, and it hurts. 

Many of those people claim to be Christians.  We didn’t take the high road.  We loved those who were easy to love.  We are now learning that we have to love those who are difficult to love.  We have to bridge peace and have conversations with those who think and believe differently than us.  We kept our churches segregated.  Now we must learn from our past and return to those ideals.

The ideals can occur.  Many people who the church has hurt or damaged, love to post how the white evangelical church is dying with old white people.  Maybe it is, but they are not posting what diverse churches that are full of young people.  Churches in the Los Angeles area are opening their doors to diversity and it is beautiful.  One of the best things that all of these churches did was love on the least of these in our community.  We can sit back and judge or get up and do.  Jesus said to love our enemies and to love those who persecute us.  Serving our enemies would be one way to show love.   

We have to stop with the arguing and bickering, especially with politics.  We have to educate ourselves of religious groups, ethnicities, and political parties that are different from us.  I was reminded today that we have to look for the good in others.  Yes, there is good in other religions.  Yes, there is good in other ethnicities (more than just the food), and even in politics.  If a democrat is finding solutions to homelessness and turning to the churches to help, then by all means that is good. 

Like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Anne Frank, I believe that there is good in everyone.  I refuse to become bitter over every little thing that is posted on social media.  If we stand up and get to work, we will not have time to be offended or time to become bitter.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t post stuff; he did the work, along with all the people that were with him.  I know.  He didn’t have social media, but he didn’t just write articles or books.  He lived.  He worked.  He spoke. 

We can do better.  We must do better.  “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream.”  Martin Luther King Jr. August 28, 1963.  Let’s make the dream a reality.  It means we will have to work, but it will be well worth it. 

Caroline's Writings: Forgiveness

Caroline's Writings: Forgiveness: For the first time in thirty years, the Oscars do not have a host because they people in Hollywood refuse to forgive.   T...

Forgiveness

For the first time in thirty years, the Oscars do not have a host because they people in Hollywood refuse to forgive.  The story of Kevin Hart making homophobic jokes ten years ago and the need for him to continue to apologize has resonated in my heart as many people treat other people.  For the record, Kevin Hart did apologize.  For the record, in order to forgive, no one has to apologize.  Forgiveness is given whether the person changes or not.  Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” 

We can forgive.  We don’t have to forget.  We can learn from the situation.  We move forward.  Those who cannot forgive are stuck in the past.  The person you are forgiving does not have to do anything more for your forgiveness.  I was reminded of the story of the man whose daughter was kidnapped, raped, and killed thirty years ago.  The father was devastated that he could not protect his little girl from such an evil act.  Several years later, the man was caught.  This father went to the prison and forgave him.  The man did not say he was sorry.  True forgiveness does not require anything from the person you are forgiving.  True forgiveness changes you.

Throughout my journey of overcoming church, I recognized that if I refused to forgive and move forward, I was going to live a life full of anger and bitterness.  I have watched many of my friends who the church hurt refuse to forgive.  They are bitter and cannot move forward in life.  They do not understand why they have no pace or content.  My life is not perfect by any means.  I am stubborn and get frustrated.  I keep reminding myself that if God can forgive me, I can forgive others.

When I refuse to forgive, I am choosing to hang on to the past.  If I refuse to forgive, I am choosing to allow someone else to have power over my life.  I need Jesus to have power over me, not an imperfect human being.  People hurt other people.  No matter if it is in the church, in Hollywood, in your business, your school, community, or your family, people hurt people.  The biggest step to overcome the hurt is to forgive.  Forgive.  “If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you.” 

Whether anyone changes his or her behavior, it does not matter.  If God can forgive me, then I can forgive others.  I have sinned.  I know that. It’s the only way that I can turn to others and forgive them.   If I refuse to forgive, I am focusing on the other person’s sin, so I do not have to focus on my sin and make a change in my life.  I need to change.  I need to focus on my sin, and the only way to do that is to forgive those who have hurt me.  Dear Hollywood, you have hurt people.  Forgive and you will be forgiven.