Loving Others: Easier Said Than Done Especially on Social Media

As I scroll through social media, I wonder if any of us really know how to love other people. By no means am I an expert on love. I have not been in the best dating relationships, but I hope I have grown and learned from them. Loving others is difficult, but it is necessary. As Christians, we need to love others with the love of Jesus. I wonder if we really understand what that means.

An expert in the law wanted to test Jesus, so he asked him how he could have eternal life. Jesus asked him what was written in the law. He quoted Jesus’s two greatest commandments to love God and to love his neighbor as himself. Jesus said he was correct, but the expert wanted to test Jesus further and asked who is my neighbor? Then Jesus told the story of the good Samaritan. When a Jewish man was robbed, a priest and a Levi passed by him, but a Samaritan, who was hated by the Jews, stopped, helped, paid for his medical care, and made sure he was healthy. The expert had to admit that the Samaritan was the neighbor.

If we modernize this, we can see it this way. A person of your opposite political beliefs or different ethnicity or of a different religion is beaten up and lying on the ground. Are you the priest, the Levi, or the Samaritan? Once we view it from a modern-day stance, it takes on a different meaning for us. It can become real. Looking through social media, I wonder how many Good Samaritans are really in our society today. We all need to begin to love our neighbors as ourselves.

When we truly love others, we have empathy. A famous pastor at the Thrive Summit said that if we have to undermine someone when they cry out hurting by saying, “But what about…” Then we are not being empathetic. When a person cries out, “This is what matters to me right now,” and we respond with, “But what about,” we are not being empathetic or loving but trying to have our voice heard over their pain. In fact, they would perceive it as silencing their pain. Being empathetic means that you listen with genuine concern and speak with them and be there for them.

Next, we need to end, “us” vs. “them.” This can be with religious or political viewpoints. If we see the other group of people as the enemy or stupid, or evil, then how do we get them to change? Once you call me any of those names, I’m done listening. We must work together with different views. Compromise occurs all the time in relationships that are successful. When I was in unhealthy relationships, compromise was only one-sided. All of us need to compromise.

We need to listen.  We need to communicate clearly. In the world of social media; we have lost the art of communication. The moment someone creates a meme, they believe that is the definitive ending and there is no other debate. Having taught debate, that is incorrect. In fact, many times, I can see the other side, even when I agree with the meme. A meme brings forth many questions. If we are going to speak in memes, we better be ready to answer questions…with love and truth. Once we become angry, we are no longer loving.

We need to study and research. There are many pieces of literature that can help us bring reconciliation. We have to read beyond with what we agree. A long time ago, at a Youth Specialties Youth Workers Convention, we were challenged to go to seminars and buy books by people with whom we disagree. Then we were to discover why we disagree and how we can agree in some areas and work together. Whenever I look at books or magazines today, I try to diversify and read literature with whom I have disagreements. I don’t walk away changed, but I can see the common ground of everyone trying to do something to make the world a better place for all people. It also challenges my thoughts and why I believe what I do and strengthens my beliefs. It also keeps me from being arrogant or rude when people ask questions. I actually can find the answers for them.

Most importantly, we need to care for people. We need to treat people how we want to be treated. We need to show people that we are listening and that we are truly empathetic with their hurts or concerns. I’m trying to continue to work on this. If loving others was easy, everyone would have perfect relationships, but it is not. Anything worth doing must take work. Love takes work and it is well worth it. May we all look at how Jesus loves us and become the Good Samaritan to those who truly need it.

Journeys

A journey is full of opportunities as it does not travel in a straight line but with many turns and stops and starts. On a journey, we always meet new people and rekindle old friendships. A journey is never smooth without obstacles or troubles, but with each bump in the road, we learn more about ourselves and our community. We only learn when we take the time to learn from our past and reflect on it of what we can do better in the present to make the future of our journey more impactful for both us and others.

This last week I finished my last week at the high school where I worked for seven years. I left on good terms. Long story short, my school is in financial crisis. Change is a necessity at the school. During this pandemic and on my walks, I have recognized that change is a necessity for me too, in more than one area. Our country is facing a time of change. Many people have resistance to change because the process of change is painful. We have to release elements of our past in order to have a present with love. It’s painful and difficult, but if it were easy and fun, we would never learn from it. We need to see change as an opportunity. Every journey has turns, resting spots, opportunities, and people that we can discover will help us on our journey.

Every journey consists of changes along the way. Change is difficult, especially change that connects to uncertainty, but change is necessary. Once we change, we grow. We have to be always changing and growing as individuals and as a country. We can always look at the past and reminisce, but we have to be honest about the past too, both as individuals and as a country. Change may seem like an obstacle, but it is actually an opportunity that we should not miss.

We move forward on a journey, but we need to stop and look back and learn from where we have been. As individuals, we have a past that is full of sins and wrongdoings. We may see some people and only see the mistakes that we made with that relationship. We have to learn from those mistakes so we do not repeat them. We have to change our actions, our words, and our attitudes. We have to do the same as a country. As a country, we need to learn more about our history, ALL of it. There will be parts that we will not appreciate, but we can learn from those parts and change our actions, our words, and our attitudes. Once we start with ourselves, we will inspire others to make the changes.

A journey has opportunities along the way that we need to see and seize. When I travel, there are billboards along the highway that offer a different opportunity for me to experience. Sometimes, I take those opportunities. Our lives are full of opportunities that we either take or reject. People say that we let opportunities slip or pass by, but in reality, we reject them. With every opportunity that is given to us, we need to make the best of it to serve others. As a country, we have an opportunity right now to learn from history, change our present, and make a difference in the lives of people in our community to have a better future. We don’t have to agree with everyone and their political views, but we must see the humanity in every single living being. We have to stand up and fight that every single human has equitable opportunities in order to make the world a better place.

When I take a physical journey, I meet with friends who live in the places to which I travel. In our journey with life, we need to build strong community with those who have been are allies and guided us along with our decisions on the journey. As a country, we need to align ourselves with people who will help us see their perspective in life. We need to listen to the stories and experiences of those who have a different ethnicity than us so we can all learn together. We need to listen to the stories and experiences of people who have different political and religious beliefs than us. Canceling people who are different from us creates division and strife. It also makes us less understanding and less loving. It makes us naïve and close-minded. Opening our hearts to people who are different from us creates unity, love, and understanding. People are what make us realize that we are never alone on any journey.

All journeys have stops along the way. This last week, not only did my job end, but I celebrated the life of a man whose life suddenly ended. The impact that Ricky Williams had on the world extends beyond what most of us can imagine. His words of encouragement and empowerment always made a person better after being in his presence. He impacted so many lives that the world is a better place because of him. When we have ends, we need to remember what we have learned and look forward to the future of what is set before us. Our country needs to end racism and look forward to a future with diversity in every realm of life in this country.

A journey is continuous. May we all continue to grow and learn from each other and with each other. Let us all remember to recognize that when we have Jesus with us on this journey of life, we have peace, not as the world defines peace, but peace within our souls, even when life around us on our journey has strife. We need to walk on our journey of life with faith in God, so we can have help in time of trouble. We need to have hope that each part of our journey will make us better humans. Most of all we need to have the greatest of these, love. Love is what makes our journey fulfilled. May we share this love with everyone in our community, so we can make the world a better place for everyone to live.

To the Church, With Love

I have struggled for the past two weeks. I know I have to speak, but I want my words to be written and spoken with love. I can speak the truth, but if I don’t speak the truth in love, then I am just a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. So, the words I am writing, are being written with love.

I love the church. It has taken me a few years to say that, but I do love the church. The church has flaws and sins, but that is not an excuse. I just want to address one of those sins…racism. I became a Christian in a community where both black and white people lived. My church was completely white. I went to a Christian college where the community was black and white and students came from all over America, including communities that had black and white people residing. My Christian college was white. I loved my home church and that college, but white Christians, we need to repent for our sin of racism. All of us. It is the problem for all of us. We cannot deny that racism doesn’t exist when we exist in communities that are not inclusive to our brothers and sisters who are not white.

As Christians, do we stand up and only solve our own problems, or do we stand up for others? If we want to be righteous, we need to look at the definition of the word righteous as Jesus defines it in Matthew 25:37-40. (NIV) “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in or needing clothes and clothes you? When did we see you sick and in prison and go visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”  Jesus made it clear. Life is not about focusing on ourselves and our problems, but to discover solutions for others in the world.

For far too long, we have had backward theology in the church. We were never supposed to be Christians and wring our hands at the world’s problems or hide in our safe and comfortable communities and homes. My pastor, Erwin McManus, states that Jesus never called us to be safe and comfortable. Jesus was never safe and comfortable and neither were those who started the church. Jesus did give us a promise. Jesus told the disciples that a time was coming that would be difficult for them as followers. “I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In the world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:35 (NIV) Jesus didn’t say take heart, you will be safe and comfortable from the world. He said that we will have trouble in the world, but he has overcome it. Since Jesus has overcome the world, we need to bring His peace to the world. Our country has trouble. It has trouble for a long time. It is time that we bring peace to our country by loving all people and serving all people and being advocates for those who need it right now.

The church must humble itself and serve all people, not just the people that look or think or believe like us. Jesus served all people, even those that did not believe in Him. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interest of others.” Philippians 2:3 (NIV) We must look to the hurts of others and serve them with the love of Jesus.

The world is watching. The world is waiting. The world is marching with America. What will the church do? The church has the answers. We need to be part of the solution. We don’t have to agree with every entity of others, but the church can be the leaders in ending racism. Now is the time.

As the church, there are things we can do.  First, we can pray for forgiveness for our sin of racism. Every one of us have had thoughts, words, or actions that have been prejudiced against people. As we pray for forgiveness, we need to ask God for the love of others that He has for us. Scripture tells us that when we love others, we love God. If we do not love others, we do not love God. Love is a verb. Love is an action verb. I know I have to pray for forgiveness, and I know I have to act with love.

Our first action of love needs to be to listen. We need to listen to the voices of those who are crying out in pain. We cannot silence the voices that are speaking. We must amplify their voices. We cannot demean their experiences. We cannot compare their experiences. We can only listen. Once we listen, we can have conversations with African-American leaders and friends. We need to have difficult conversations and be willing to listen.

We can also listen with reading novels and books written by black authors that tell the story of the black experience in America. I know I have to add more diversity to my reading list. I have read some, but I need to read more. We can listen to documentaries and podcasts.

We can find areas to make a difference. Whether it is volunteering in a community project or serving with people that are not of our same ethnicity, serving with and for others will open our eyes and perspectives and the most changed person will be us. We can give of our resources to those community services that need them. There are plenty of lists on social media.

As I think about all that has occurred and what the church can do, I am not eliminating my own process in this. I need pray, listen, and do. It is my earnest prayer that the church can rise up and together we can bring justice and equity for every person in America. Let’s rise up, church, for black lives and end the injustices and racism. It starts with us. Once it starts with us, racism ends with us. a