Quarantine a Month Later

For me, it still doesn’t feel like prison, but it is becoming more complicated. The distractions from work and claims of what we can do during this time takes us away from what we think needs to be accomplished to what actually needs to be accomplished. Some of those distractions are self-inflicted, whether it be watching shows or playing some sort of video games or scrolling through social media and joining in on useless debates. Other distractions are other-inflicted, in which others need our time and attention. Whatever the distractions are or whatever is occurring around us, the best element that I have discovered in making this quarantine a time to thrive is to take it one step at a time.

I have finally taking the idea of one step at a time to a literal sense in going for an actual walk. Normally, exercise does not create a stress-free environment for me. In fact, sometimes I leave the gym a bit more frustrated, but during this time, going outside of the house and going for an actual walk is a stress relief. I don’t know if it is just getting away or if it is that I’m going around the block and all I can do is think. I have begun to put some elements of what I need to do in order so that I can begin working on tasks when I return to my home.

I’ve attended the young adult book festival in the west this weekend (YALLWEST) online and all of them are giving the statement that everyone needs to give themselves grace. It’s interesting to note that as a Christian, I can accept Jesus’s grace and give grace to others, but I struggle to give myself grace, which in turn reminds me that I need to accept Jesus’s grace. It’s a vicious cycle that I have realized during this time that it is more than a cliché or a cute meme thrown around on social media.

I am still learning to focus on one task at a time. When I teach online, I focus on my teaching, but when it comes to other tasks, I have had to learn to focus on the task and not worry about the tasks I am not completing. I do use a planner. In one of my planners, it asks two questions at the end of each day to write down one thing you are thankful for and one thing you can do to make tomorrow 1% better. Both questions are valuable in that I need to be thankful and I need to do better, even a little bit.

One element that makes me better is connecting with people. Whether it is texting, calling, social media, or Zooming people (beyond my classroom), Bible studies online, or church online, connecting with others is valuable. Whatever is the method, the value of connections with other human beings is vital to this whole process. Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth in love and will listen when you just need a listening ear. It’s all about focusing on the person I am connecting with at the time and knowing that it is valuable for both of us.  

I’ve realized that I don’t have to do everything in one day or in one week. The only way to complete any task is to take it one step at a time, just like how I put together a lesson plan with each element leading to the next part of the lesson process.

There are tasks that might not get done during this time. They may be tasks that were not meant to be done. Some tasks were done that may not have been expected. We can discover great parts of our homes that we may not have known. I discovered that my desk with a mug of coffee is a great place to write and work.

It isn’t as easy as it looks. My hat goes off to all the homemakers and homeschool parents who have been doing this long before this quarantine. I also realize that if I ever want to work at home, I have a few things to learn from this time. The most important element that I have discovered is that I still have to conquer the time wasters that were always in my life and I have to conquer my flaws. I just have to remember that it is one step at a time.

Introspective

As I have aged, I have discovered many parts of myself. Some of those parts I like and some I don’t, but the one part that I have come to terms with is the fact that I know what I have to change and fix about myself. No one can change and fix me. I have to do it. One of the most difficult parts of a process of mental health is to look introspectively and discover about yourself what needs to be fixed or changed because I am the only one that I can fix and change.

We all have flaws. The Bible tells us that all of us have sinned and we continue to sin. No human being is perfect, although if you look through social media you can begin to wonder if you are the only person with any flaws. Not only do people choose perfect profile pictures, but they also declare how wonderful they are as they tear others apart on social media and point out the flaws and sins of others. It can become brutal.

 If we are not careful, it can lead to negative thoughts of not being “good enough” and that how I think, believe, or what I do is so deplorable there is no way that I can be redeemed. I know that’s a bit stretched, but the inundation of political posts can begin to do that to a person, especially when we all have more time to be on social media during this time of quarantine.

When I first realized that I had to change and fix myself and stop trying to change and fix others, it was a gut wrenching process. First, I had to see my own flaws and understand how those flaws affect people around me. I have a planner this year that asks at the end of each weekday, “What is one thing you can do to make tomorrow better?” It’s a great question, as it reminds me that first, tomorrow is a new day, and second, I can make tomorrow better just by doing one small task. I can fix and change one flaw one task at a time. I just have to remember to see my flaws as fixable, because they are.  

As we are locked up in our homes during this quarantine, our minds can race with thoughts of all our flaws that need to be out of our lives. The guilt of our wrongdoings can lead to shame. Throughout my lifetime, people have guilt-shamed me into doing what they want me to do instead of me doing what was right for me. This occurred in the church, school, family, jobs, and relationships. In every realm of life, people will try to guilt shame you that you are not worthy. They are trying to change and fix you. The reality is that they refuse to look introspectively into themselves and fix and change themselves, and they forget that the only person they can fix and change is themselves.

I cannot fix or change anyone, except myself. None of us can fix or change anyone but ourselves. That was one of the best revelations in my aged life that I have discovered. I hope younger people can begin to have this revelation. I can inspire, challenge, and encourage others, but I cannot change them. The church has tried for years to change people. It’s failed because Jesus can change them if they accept Jesus. People do not have the power to change and fix other people, except themselves. People who guilt-shame do not fix or change people. To be honest, none of the people who rant and rave are my people who inspire me. The people who inspire me challenge me to think differently. They encourage me to do better the next time. They inspire me with love and grace that Jesus loves me in spite of my flaws and sins. They inspire me to change, but they do not try to fix or change me. I am changed because of their words of inspiration, but they guide me to reflect on myself.

We’ve been locked up in our homes for a month. A month is a long time. It can give us perspective of how we used to live and how we took it for granted. We can look at how we treated people, and what we need to do to be better people when this time is done. It’s difficult to change habits, but it starts with one small change at a time. Maybe during this time, the habit is to think before we speak. That can start on social media to not respond to a post. The habit of being lazy can change as we can all do one small task a day that takes some amount of energy that we did not use the past day. Whatever the habit is that we need to form, we need to begin creating it now, so that when this is over, we are better.

Step by step is how we can break a bad habit, but it is also how we develop good habits. We can do one task each day that creates a good habit. It can be very small, such as making our beds. Whatever it is, we only achieve it when we take it step by step each day. I remember in 2014, a speaker challenged me when he said that no one keeps a New Year’s Resolution. I decided that day that in 2015 I would commit to writing every day. It’s 2020, and I have written every day for the past five years. I have not only become a more proficient writer, but also a better teacher of writing to my students. It took one day at a time to develop a habit.

May we all use this time in quarantine to focus on what we can do and what good habits we can create. It is with that line of thinking that we will be able to fix and change ourselves, which in turn will fix and change the world around us. It will not be posting any meme, or any political rant that will fix or change anyone, but each of us taking on one good habit to create. Good habits lead to good results. At the end of this quarantine, with good habits in place, we may all be surprised in the end who has changed the most.

Easter in Qurantine

The disciples were gathered in a home after Jesus died and they feared for their lives to step outside believing someone would kill them. When the women came in and told them that the tomb was empty and the angel told them that Jesus was risen from the dead, two of the disciples, Peter and John, risked their lives and went to see for themselves what was happening at the tomb. They found it just as the women had said. It was empty. Jesus was not there.

We can see the parallel. We are staying in our homes because if we go and gather with others, we might get a potentially deadly virus, but that doesn’t mean we cannot celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Whether we have church in a building, a tent, a football field, a drive-in, online, or in homes looking at a screen, nothing will change the fact that Jesus is risen from the dead and has defeated death.

Continuing with the parallel with the eleven that were in one house, their lives changed entirely when they met the resurrected Christ. They did what Jesus told them they would do; they became fishers of men. They took what Jesus taught them and brought it to the world. They started new careers as missionaries. They started the church.

As we sit huddled in our homes, disciples of Jesus know that the tomb is empty. We have known it, but we may have forgotten within all the celebrations. This year we have learned we do not need new fancy clothes. We do not need a building to celebrate the resurrected Christ. We need faith. With the faith in Christ, we need to let the world know that there is hope. Our world needs hope right now. Our world needs to know that Jesus gives them hope. Our world needs unconditional love. Jesus gives unconditional love. Our world needs grace. With the death and resurrection, we have grace.

May we sit back and reflect this Easter, like the disciples, of what we can do with what we know and believe. The Internet has connected us all together. We may not be able to travel all over the world, but we can travel to the neighbor and family members that may need supplies or just a word of encouragement. May this Easter open our eyes and bring our focus to the empty tomb, which is where they always needed to have focus. Next year when we are back gathering with the body of Christ, may we have to adjust and adapt as our gatherings are huge because we chose to go into our world and disciples were made.  

Palm Sunday: We Are Moving!

Palm Sunday. Many churches celebrate with some sort of decoration of palm branches, even if they are just in a vase somewhere in the church. Many pastors preach the sermon about Jesus entering Jerusalem and the people praising Him with palm branches. On Palm Sunday 2011, I believe my pastor spoke on something about Palm Sunday. I think. I do know he made the following announcement: “Come join us next week on Easter at our new location in Hollywood.” Yes, we were moving the week before Easter!

Our church was meeting in West Los Angeles. The drive to Hollywood can be anywhere from twenty minutes to forty-five minutes, depending on events of the day, but people moved with enthusiasm. That week before Easter, several volunteers came and cleaned up the new building that we were renting. We arrived early on Easter for a lunch at 1pm and continued to clean and set-up the church for the 5pm service. It was beautiful. I believe we had a dry ice machine. No, wait. That was dust from all our cleaning that filled the room.  When I drove home, I was covered in dust, but it was amazing because I knew that our church was embarking on a new journey that would catapult us into serving the community in so many new ways.  From that one move, so much growth came.

On that Palm Sunday that my pastor made that announcement, I have no idea if people yelled and screamed. I doubt that they did. I’m sure they left in shock. I have no idea because I was not there. I was not sick nor was I out of town. I had the largest project due for my credential class that following Wednesday and I had to go to work that week, so I was sitting in a coffee shop doing my work on the project. I took a fifteen-minute break to look at social media and saw the announcement. I was stunned. I smiled. I loved that my church makes changes and with the changes growth occurs. I grew that Palm Sunday and Easter in my spiritual life to trust God. Our leaders trusted that God would move the hearts of people to move to a new location on Easter. Most churches have sent out their invites with their address on them. We were getting the word out as best as we could that we had a new address.

When life gives us a sudden change, it’s how we respond that determines our attitudes and mental and emotional state. Change is necessary and it usually comes unexpectedly. My spiritual growth has taken me on a journey that is beyond traditions, rules, and rituals, so when a drastic change comes in life, I have been able to adapt. I have been able to use that time to grow.

Being in quarantine was a sudden change. The week before we were told that we would close school for what was to be for two weeks, there was anxiety if we would close the schools or not. Once the announcement was made, there was relief that we could be safe, but there were plenty of uncertainties. We are now approaching our fourth week. I thought for sure we would be able to have church on Easter, but with change, nothing is certain.

It’s one thing to say to walk by faith and not by sight and actually do it. Walking by faith means we live one day at a time. It involves walking forward and not walking in the past or suggesting that others walk in the past with you. We have to walk in the world today and move toward the future. We must change because the only way we can grow is to change. Growth can be painful, but it is always worth it. Change is not always fun, but it is necessary in order to grow. We cannot grow without change and we cannot change without growth.

Being in quarantine is a change for most people. For those of us who work outside of the house, this is strange. Home is a place where I have tried not to bring my work. I will take my work to a coffee shop, but not in the sanctity of my home, but now I have to do work at home and invite my coworkers and students into my home through Zoom. It’s a change and a growth. I have to change my attitude that my home is not a place to waste time but it can also be a space to create and share my work with others. It’s a change that many of us do not want or desire, but we need to use this change to grow.

We have to decide to make mental, spiritual and emotional growths during this time in quarantine. We no longer have the excuse that we don’t have the time. We have the time. We may have to change our routine or change some habits that are not advancing our growth in these areas. We can turn off the news and turn on our minds to what we can do. Let’s use this time to make a difference in the world, even if that difference is not noticed until much later.   

You would think I would have learned my lesson for missing church on Palm Sunday, but I didn’t. Today, I have tickets for my family and I to cheer on the Angels and boo the Houston Astros at Angels Stadium in Anaheim. Dodger fans were going to attend in droves. (I had my Dodger gear ready.) The game was going to be in the afternoon, and with the commute, I would have missed the morning services, of which I attend. I may have attended the evening service, but most likely it would have been on livestream. This quarantine changed me. It reminded me of that Palm Sunday that brought change and amazing growth to my church. I will appreciate being live in church on any Sunday.  

That Palm Sunday in 2011 is forever in my heart and seared in my memory. It has only been in recent years with my spiritual life that I have understood the importance and goodness of change. I have discovered that change leads to growth, and if there is no growth, you either don’t change or let go of the new idea, but you cannot go back to the past.  On the first Palm Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem and the people cheered because they believed he would change the world politically. He did change the world, just not politically but so much better with the sacrifice of his life. This Palm Sunday and Easter, may we change how we see Jesus beyond the traditions and rituals with beautiful clothes and come to the throne with a beautiful heart that has the time to be open and listen to His voice. Let us use this quarantine to change our hearts and begin to align our hearts with the heart of Jesus.