Forgiveness

For the first time in thirty years, the Oscars do not have a host because they people in Hollywood refuse to forgive.  The story of Kevin Hart making homophobic jokes ten years ago and the need for him to continue to apologize has resonated in my heart as many people treat other people.  For the record, Kevin Hart did apologize.  For the record, in order to forgive, no one has to apologize.  Forgiveness is given whether the person changes or not.  Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” 

We can forgive.  We don’t have to forget.  We can learn from the situation.  We move forward.  Those who cannot forgive are stuck in the past.  The person you are forgiving does not have to do anything more for your forgiveness.  I was reminded of the story of the man whose daughter was kidnapped, raped, and killed thirty years ago.  The father was devastated that he could not protect his little girl from such an evil act.  Several years later, the man was caught.  This father went to the prison and forgave him.  The man did not say he was sorry.  True forgiveness does not require anything from the person you are forgiving.  True forgiveness changes you.

Throughout my journey of overcoming church, I recognized that if I refused to forgive and move forward, I was going to live a life full of anger and bitterness.  I have watched many of my friends who the church hurt refuse to forgive.  They are bitter and cannot move forward in life.  They do not understand why they have no pace or content.  My life is not perfect by any means.  I am stubborn and get frustrated.  I keep reminding myself that if God can forgive me, I can forgive others.

When I refuse to forgive, I am choosing to hang on to the past.  If I refuse to forgive, I am choosing to allow someone else to have power over my life.  I need Jesus to have power over me, not an imperfect human being.  People hurt other people.  No matter if it is in the church, in Hollywood, in your business, your school, community, or your family, people hurt people.  The biggest step to overcome the hurt is to forgive.  Forgive.  “If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you.” 

Whether anyone changes his or her behavior, it does not matter.  If God can forgive me, then I can forgive others.  I have sinned.  I know that. It’s the only way that I can turn to others and forgive them.   If I refuse to forgive, I am focusing on the other person’s sin, so I do not have to focus on my sin and make a change in my life.  I need to change.  I need to focus on my sin, and the only way to do that is to forgive those who have hurt me.  Dear Hollywood, you have hurt people.  Forgive and you will be forgiven.