Recently, the movie, Meet the Parents has been on many of the movie channels. As much as we laugh at the antics of Ben Stiller’s character, we also giggle at Robert De Niro’s character and his “Circle of Trust.” As I was watching that movie, I realized that so many of us lack trust because people have broken trust with us. We have believed false information and false narratives. I used to believe that I didn’t trust anyone, but I was wrong. I trusted everyone that surrounded me, and that’s what got me in trouble, and it gets many of us in trouble. It’s what created a lack of trust.
When I was young, my parents divorced and somehow, many people believed that they needed to guide me with advice. I don’t blame them for their bad advice. I blame me for taking their bad advice. I took it because I trusted them. Some people revealed why I should not have trusted them in a short time. Others revealed why I shouldn’t have trusted them once a relationship was built with depth, and it’s that when I realized that broken trust is difficult to repair. It’s that broken trust that many of us struggle to trust today in our time of quarantine.
There have been so many messages from so many different people and no one will admit when they are wrong. That is what breaks trust. I can trust someone who admits when they are wrong. I cannot trust someone who changes their words and or their rhetoric and never admits that they were wrong in the past or why they have changed from the past. If people do not admit that they are wrong, then they do not admit to their own flaws and wrongdoings, which breaks trust. Trust is built when we can admit to our flaws and wrongdoings and change from doing them. People who cannot admit to being wrong or why they have changed have a history that shows that they are unfaithful. Their lies reveal that they are untrustworthy.
When we change from our old ways, we don’t have to tell others our wrongs, but we can realize that the old way is gone and the new has come, which builds a new trust. It’s why I can trust God. Jesus did not throw out the old law; he completed it. I can trust God because I have seen what he has done in my life and in the lives of other people. Many people lose trust in God because of how people have behaved. God is not a person. Science is not a person. It’s not the message people do not trust; it’s the messenger. In order for people to see God, we must be trustworthy.
Being trustworthy as a person means we must act. Our actions speak louder than words. If we disagree with someone, we must be kind. If you want to be trustworthy and begin name calling and degrading someone, you are not going to gain any trust, and your information will be disregarded. You are just pushing your agenda. I know because I’ve had that occur many times in my life.
Our world needs trustworthy people. We don’t have to trust all the information that is being fed to us by any media source, but we do need to begin to trust each other. We need to believe that people want the best for each and every person. In order to trust other people, we need to be trusted. Our trust may have been broken, but we can build it back when we apologize and admit that our actions were wrong.
Tomorrow I will meet my new students. I will have to gain their trust. I cannot call them names or degrade them. in fact, it is through encouragement that trust will be built. It is through love that trust will be built. When we love God, others and ourselves, then we will be able to build trust with and for others. My final words are from a passage that many Christians have memorized and many of us need to practice. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
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