What Are You Fixing On Doing?

 Once I arrived in Daytona Beach, Florida from Michigan, I heard the phrase, “What are you fixing on doing?” Since I was only nine years old, I had no idea what they were saying, so I knew enough not to repeat the phrase until I learned what it meant in its entirety. Being young, I took the phrase literally and didn’t understand how I could fix anything. Once I discovered what the meaning of the phrase was, I was unimpressed and refused to still use it. The phrase just means, “What are you going to do?” For some reason, the people in the South added the word “Fixing” to this phrase. Maybe, people in the South wanted to fix everything and everyone. I would judge, but if we look closely enough, people around us are trying to fix everything and everyone, except, of course, themselves. 

As a former youth pastor and as a current teacher, I have been a fixer. I have tried to fix problems in the church, and in the schools in which I worked. If the situation was one that required a solution within the curriculum, or procedures, or something that would not affect people directly, it was well received and it was fixed, but the moment I tried to fix people from their flaws, it was a disaster. It was not until a couple of years ago that I realized that the only person I can fix is myself. 

There was YouTuber who condemned those of us who claim that we can only fix ourselves and that we have forgotten that God is the one who fixes us. It is true that God fixes us from our brokenness, but he does not do everything for us. He wants us to confess our sins, repent from our sins, and walk in a new direction in life. We cannot do that for anyone else. We can reveal our own change and inspire and empower others. Maybe the reason we are trying to fix others is because we refuse to see the brokenness in ourselves. 

No one wants to feel broken. I have students who struggle with reading and writing, and they would rather fail then to reach out for help and reveal that they need help. The same with us as adults in our lives. We should reach out for help, but instead we would rather fix all the people around us. It makes us blind to what we must do to be healthy. After a while the people who see our brokenness leave us or distance themselves from us because they do not want to become broken, and then we turn and blame them. It’s a vicious cycle, and we must end it, especially in the church. 

If someone is broken and is going to harm themselves or others, we need to get them help. At the same time, we must remember that we cannot fix them. They have to do the work in order to become healthy again. 

If we see a person who is broken, we need to walk alongside them and bring our empathy to them. We need to listen. We need to be slow to anger and slow to speak. We need to pray for them. If we see a brokenness in the church, we must step up and listen to those who see life differently than us and love them in their brokenness. We need to pray for them. We need to be slow to anger and slow to speak, especially eliminating gossip about them. The real solution is that if we see our church community is broken, we need to fix ourselves, then our church community will have one less person that is broken. 

If we see brokenness in our family, we need to pray and begin to fix ourselves. If we see there needs to be “fixing” in our workplace, we need to pray and begin to fix ourselves. Do we see a pattern? Our own brokenness affects the people around us. The only person we can fix ourselves. If someone’s brokenness is affecting us so much that it is breaking us, then we must move forward in life from the relationship. It’s difficult. I’ve done it, and my life has been healthier in all ways ever since. It’s time that those of us who are Christians begin to fix ourselves. 

That YouTuber was wrong. She tried fixing those who think differently than her. God can fix us, but we must be willing to let him work in our lives. We cannot force anyone else to commit to the fixing that they need to do. If we force people into fixing themselves, they do not change. They do a small change to please us, but then they return to their old ways with more anger and frustration because if we do not see what we need to do to have a better life and do those changes, then people forcing us will just make it worse. 

If other people fix us, we not only remain broken, but we don’t have the resources or tools to fix what went wrong in the first place because someone else did it for us. We can lead people to the tools and resources, but we cannot do the fixing for them. They will remain lost, broken, and empty. 

We must be willing and open to the change that we must endure. God works within each of us. We must trust the power of God. God can fix people. We must allow him to do the work. We can be the voice people need to hear, but we cannot force them to change. It’s time that the church allows the power of God back in into its presence and see the great things he can do. It starts with all of us fixing one thing about ourselves. Soon, we will see the fixing that the church needs as we all work on our own brokenness.