The Voices in My Head

As a teacher, in order to get all students to stop talking, I tell them the following:  “I can still hear voices.  If the voices are only in my head, they sound like your voices, which should scare you, so be silent so I can tell the difference.” As I look back on my life, I realize that I have not listened to the right voices, and the wrong voices have been stuck in my head for far too long. 

Although I believe that we must move forward from our past, I also believe that we must learn from our past and use what we learn in our present life in order to make our future brighter.  The wrong voices have always told me all the wrong things I have done.  There were so many times I felt that God didn’t like me.  He loved me, but with all the wrong voices screaming at me, he didn’t like me.  My theology, even as a youth pastor, was completely wrong. 

Not only does God love us, but he also likes us.  He created us, and His creation is beautiful.  Unlike us, He sees the beauty in His creation.  Our personalities are unique and made to do His mission.  So, how do I diffuse all the wrong voices?

First, I begin listening to the right voices.  Like my friend said, I need to dive into books, podcasts, and connect with people who allow me to fail and encourage me to pick myself back up because I have the strength to get up and do better with my gifts and quirks.  

Second, I silence the wrong voices.  I follow James 5:16.  “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  (NIV) So, if you plan to walk up to me and try to tell my wrongdoings and/or sins, be ready for my combative response to not only stop you, but to quote this verse and tell you that you need to confess your sins to me first.  Then, I confess my sins.  Then we pray.  Then our prayer will be powerful and effective.  Isn’t it ironic that we as Christians only remember the last part of that verse?  The first part is difficult to do, but it must be done.  Accountability and trust are needed for the first part.  If you just walk up and point out my flaws, it takes boldness and arrogance. 

Third, we need to learn to trust one another and be accountable.  In the church, that means you are trustworthy.  You can become trustworthy when you open up to someone you trust with your sins.  If all we do is point out the sins of others, we are not following the Gospel.  We are becoming like the Pharisees.  You see, when you only point out the sins of others and their wrongdoings, you are hiding from your own sins and wrongdoings.  Begin to step into the light and trust and become accountable. 

Every day I have to remind myself to listen to the right voices and not those who have to let me know that I am flawed.  I know my flaws.  I am trying to fix them.  It takes time.  It takes trust.  It takes accountability.  It takes love.  So, please, be quiet.  I need to hear the right voices in my head. I hope yours is one that I can hear.