We Have a Choice to Make

It’s that time of year again. Some of us will choose to indulge in the life of pumpkin spice. Others will choose to indulge in the life of apple spice. Then there are others who will choose to stay with what they always consume. The point is, we always have a choice. It is my hope and prayer that we will begin to choose love over hate. 

If we choose for someone to control us and take over our lives, then that is our choice, and our lives are miserable. If we choose to hate instead of love, then we have chosen a miserable lifestyle. If we choose to trust fate instead of having faith, then we will become miserable with what our future has become. We are not robots, even if the powers in Silicon Valley think we are. We have choices, and we all need to choose to be better and to choose to do the good. 

We all have made the excuse that we just had to strike someone with our words, actions, or fists because they were so out of place with their words, actions, or fists. The truth is we have a choice on how to respond to those that harm us. We have a choice on how to respond to posts on social media that trigger us. We all have a choice on how we live our lives. We all need to begin to make better choices. 

We all have heard our parents or other adult leaders say, “Make good choices!” Many times when that phrase is used, most young people take it as that they need to choose to not get into trouble, but let’s take that phrase a bit further. Maybe we can start using that phrase to stop trouble from spreading or from even entering into our lives. 

It took me years to realize that I had to stop blaming others for my life journey. I made the choices I made. If I was unwise and believed their words, then it was on me. I had a choice to make. I have a choice of how to respond when someone harms me. I can sit and wallow my entire life, or I can get counseling and begin a new life with new insight and have understanding for others who may have my same hurts. I have always had a choice. Once I started making those actual good choices, I became a person with peace, joy, and even happiness. 

We all need to think before we respond, either in person or on social media. We always have a choice, even when something triggers us. We need to remember that everyone has his or her own problems. They see life the way they do because of the circumstances that they have been given. We can get to know them better. We can ask them questions. Once we attack, we made our choice to disrespect and show hate instead of love. 

We need to love those who think and believe differently than us. It’s easy to sit back and judged someone’s thoughts and beliefs and have the idea that ours is the pefect way to life. People who think and believe differently than us have done amazing things for the community, or the country, or the world. We have to stop seeing everyone who believes and thinks differently as the enemy. When we only see them as the enemy, we have chosen hate instead of love.  We have a choice. We need to choose love. 

Jesus had a choice. He could have called on legions of angels to strike down those who were nailing him to the cross. He chose to sacrifice his life so we could live. He chose love instead of hate. We need to follow the one who is perfect. We have a choice. We can choose to follow Jesus or we can choose to follow Christians and religious leaders. We have always had a choice. The choice of life and love is to choose to follow Jesus. The choice of death and hate is to follow Christians and religious leaders because in their human state, they will not choose to die for our sins. 

We have a choice. We have always had a choice. This year, 2020, has been a difficult year for many people for many reasons. We have a choice. We can heal with love or we can hurt with hate. May we all choose love and begin to heal others and ourselves. We always have a choice, so let’s go make good choices! 

 

Cobra Kai--Heroes and Villains

 As I have indulged into the television series, Cobra Kai once again, I have noticed that the simplicity and complexity of the characters truly imitates real life, thus, reigniting  the lesson that art does imitate life.

 

A short summary of Cobra Kai is that the show is the extension of the movie, Karate Kid. It takes the main character and his antagonist into life today. The show makes the antagonist, the bully, Johnny Lawrence the misunderstood hero and the victim of the original Karate Kid, Daniel La Russo, who is now the villain. They both start karate dojos in the valley, and they start the rivalry between the two once again. Actually, Daniel started his dojo to respond to the start of Johnny’s dojo, Cobra Kai, and to restore life in the valley, which many people who cannot see their own flaws do. They do something to respond to their version of their villain.

 

Daniel La Russo is now a rich successful family man, and Johnny Lawrence is a drunken bum trying to get by financially and has an estranged son. They both think they are the victim of each other.  They both believe that they are doing life the right way. Daniel even brags about balance, which will bring peace, and his life is the most chaotic mess, but you have to look closely to see that. Johnny believes that you need to be tough and fight for what you want, while he just gets drunk whenever an obstacle comes his way. Neither one of them can see their own flaws, but they can see the flaws in the other person that victimizes them.  

 

Isn’t that how we all are? We are blind to the plank in our own eyes, and yet, we can see the speck of sawdust in the eyes of those who believe and think differently than us. In fact, we call those specks our enemies and we live our lives trying to take them down instead of working diligently to take the planks out of our own eyes in order to create what we are to do in the world to make a difference.

 

No one is perfect. No one has the perfect life, no matter how it appears on the outside. We cannot see others as the villains and ourselves as the hero who does not have any flaws. In fact, most times, just like the show, Cobra Kai, many of exhibit the same flaws as those we claim to be our villains.

 

We cannot blame the villains for the choices we have made in our lives. It is our choice how we respond to discouragements and trials in life, even if a villain caused them. Then, when we do this, the plank comes out of our eyes and we can see clearly. Once we see clearly, we see the person we have seen as a villainas a human being, and that changes everything.

 

Both the hero and the villain have flaws in their character and good qualities in their character. When we take our planks out, we can have compassion for our villains, as we see that they are struggling with their flaws, even when they cannot see their own flaws. As we see the human beings, we realize that compassion is more of an answer than degrading or revenge.

 

In real life, heroes and villains exist in all of us. We all just have to see our own planks in our own eyes, and remove them in order to be our own hero and not our own villain. The villain does not change. The hero always changes. In order to be a true hero, we have to move forward and do what we are created to do. If we allow the speck of the villain to begin to hold us back from doing that, then it is our own fault. The only way to remove those planks in our own eyes is to just remember and act on the simple phrase, “Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.”

The Value of Trust

 Recently, the movie, Meet the Parents has been on many of the movie channels. As much as we laugh at the antics of Ben Stiller’s character, we also giggle at Robert De Niro’s character and his “Circle of Trust.” As I was watching that movie, I realized that so many of us lack trust because people have broken trust with us. We have believed false information and false narratives. I used to believe that I didn’t trust anyone, but I was wrong. I trusted everyone that surrounded me, and that’s what got me in trouble, and it gets many of us in trouble. It’s what created a lack of trust.

 

When I was young, my parents divorced and somehow, many people believed that they needed to guide me with advice. I don’t blame them for their bad advice. I blame me for taking their bad advice. I took it because I trusted them. Some people revealed why I should not have trusted them in a short time. Others revealed why I shouldn’t have trusted them once a relationship was built with depth, and it’s that when I realized that broken trust is difficult to repair. It’s that broken trust that many of us struggle to trust today in our time of quarantine.

 

There have been so many messages from so many different people and no one will admit when they are wrong. That is what breaks trust. I can trust someone who admits when they are wrong. I cannot trust someone who changes their words and or their rhetoric and never admits that they were wrong in the past or why they have changed from the past. If people do not admit that they are wrong, then they do not admit to their own flaws and wrongdoings, which breaks trust. Trust is built when we can admit to our flaws and wrongdoings and change from doing them. People who cannot admit to being wrong or why they have changed have a history that shows that they are unfaithful. Their lies reveal that they are untrustworthy.

 

When we change from our old ways, we don’t have to tell others our wrongs, but we can realize that the old way is gone and the new has come, which builds a new trust. It’s why I can trust God. Jesus did not throw out the old law; he completed it. I can trust God because I have seen what he has done in my life and in the lives of other people. Many people lose trust in God because of how people have behaved. God is not a person. Science is not a person. It’s not the message people do not trust; it’s the messenger. In order for people to see God, we must be trustworthy.

 

Being trustworthy as a person means we must act. Our actions speak louder than words. If we disagree with someone, we must be kind. If you want to be trustworthy and begin name calling and degrading someone, you are not going to gain any trust, and your information will be disregarded. You are just pushing your agenda. I know because I’ve had that occur many times in my life.  

 

Our world needs trustworthy people. We don’t have to trust all the information that is being fed to us by any media source, but we do need to begin to trust each other. We need to believe that people want the best for each and every person. In order to trust other people, we need to be trusted. Our trust may have been broken, but we can build it back when we apologize and admit that our actions were wrong.

 

Tomorrow I will meet my new students. I will have to gain their trust. I cannot call them names or degrade them. in fact, it is through encouragement that trust will be built. It is through love that trust will be built. When we love God, others and ourselves, then we will be able to build trust with and for others. My final words are from a passage that many Christians have memorized and many of us need to practice. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Adventures in a Quarantined Summer

 Every summer since 2015, I have been able to travel and visit friends from college, Bible Bowl, and high school. This year, life has been quarantined, and I have had different adventures. During the first four months of quarantine, I was looking for a new job. My school was downsizing, and since I taught elective English classes last year, (and I’m expensive because of credentials and years taught) I was laid-off. I’ve already been through one school closing, and I don’t want to be in another one, so I was actually relieved to go somewhere new. (There was and is no ill will.) It took time because I really didn’t want to teach at a charter school, but this is difficult times and charter schools are hiring. Each time I pray for what I want, God gives me what I need, and this time was no exception.

 

I applied to schools to teach online, which pay significantly less than in-person teaching, districts that are not hiring but interviewed me anyway and private schools. I applied to one and only one in-person charter school. I got the job. God doesn’t work in just mysterious ways; he works in humorous ways. God does what is best, which will always provide for our needs. Although we will be teaching online for at least the first semester, I wanted to see the campus and get a vibe for the community where the students live. So, yesterday, I went on an adventure.

 

This charter school is in an entire system of charter schools. They do have two schools near downtown Los Angeles, but not the one where I was hired, which I found out yesterday. I knew the name of the street and ditched Google maps and decided to go my way until the street numbers were wacky and I was going out of downtown Los Angeles. I found my school on the border of Pasadena, Eagle Rock, and Highland Park. For my friends outside of Los Angeles, it’s on the other side of downtown Los Angeles, and not close to the downtown at all. It’s close to the mountains. It’s pretty.

 

I love exploring new places. Of course, I went off the trail a bit afterward and found a cute little bookstore at the bottom of the mountain where our church camp is located. I may not have traveled very far, but the adventure is not in the place but in the people that I will encounter. People make life so much better, and that is where many of us are struggling in this pandemic. The adventure always requires me to trust God and what is best for me in my life and not always what I want.

 

God has given me the best jobs throughout my lifetime. I have met some of my closest friends and have inspired many young people to live their lives for Jesus and make a difference in the world. Change can be scary and not always easy, but it is necessary as it creates growth and brings new adventures that requires us to trust God just a bit more in life. New adventures also create reflection of where we have been and where we are going.

 

The direction for life in this quarantine for me is taking a turn as I have to teach and do most of my communication with others online. While most of us have to sit behind our computers to communicate, we may need to resolve to be kind. I know I have had my share of times of not being kind. People are struggling with loss of jobs, loss of life with family members and friends, and loss of relationships. We can argue about politics all day long and not one thing will change in our country or in our world. We can encourage people and we can make a huge difference in the world without even leaving our home. I have been surprised for someone to tell me the words that I have said, both good and bad that have changed them. Our words make a difference in the lives of others.

 

The impact we make on the world can make a difference. You don’t have to be a teacher to hundreds of students. You can be someone who encourages family members that are struggling. If we want a change in the world, we have to do it. We need to stop relying on someone else to do what we can do, especially anyone in government. It’s taken me many years to discover this. Let us all take an adventure and explore new ideas of how to encourage more and argue less. With our new adventures, let us discover ways to make a difference, whether it is through the arts or technology. If we are so busy working to make a difference in the world, we will have less time to argue or to post the same stuff on social media that angers people. It’s healthier way to live. It’s life giving. It’s the way that God wants us to live.  

 

The Masked Bandit

I refuse to get into the mask debate during this pandemic. The masks that I notice are invisible to the eye, but if we look closer, we can see them. We all wear one at some point. Most of us deny that we do, but trust me, I have worn the masks so many times that when I take one off I can barely recognize myself. We hide behind our masks. We wear masks that profess to the world of who we are, and yet, underneath our masks, we are not that person.

The mask of shame. Throughout my life, leaders have guilt-shamed me so much that I have to remember my true identity in Christ and take that mask off and discard it. These leaders are Christians in the church and non-Christians in places where I have worked or volunteered. Guilt-shaming had me serve in areas that I had no business serving and my attitude was one of anger and resentment. I never represent Christ when I wear my mask of shame. People try to guilt shame on social media. I can tell you you’re right, but on my side of the computer, I’m not going to wear a mask of shame. I’m going to be transparent or wear a mask of lies.

The mask of lies. We must be honest and realize that at some point in our lives we have all worn a mask of lies. If we say we haven’t, we’re lying. We even justify our lies. We say we lie not to hurt someone, but once they realize the truth, they are more hurt. Lies trap us. The truth frees us. We need to be honest with ourselves and others. If we can be honest with ourselves first, then we can be honest with others. When we lay down the mask of lies, we then realize who our allies and adversaries are.

The mask of hypocrisy. Like the mask of lies, most people have at one point in their lives worn a mask of hypocrisy. It clouds our vision of who are allies and adversaries are. We say we believe one thing, but we do the exact opposite. The most difficult part of this mask is that we actually believe our hypocrisy. Most of us do not even see our own hypocrisy as we throw down memes on social media that prove an argument. We need to be careful, as this mask can be layered. Once we take off the mask, we usually have one behind it hiding because we are fearful to reveal the truth of our authentic selves.

All of these masks cover us and protect us from the truth. These masks protect us from people criticizing us, until they recognize the truth and then we are discredited. We need to strip these masks away and keep them off. These masks cover-up Christ in our lives. We don’t always recognize it, but people can see our masks, even if we wear them on social media. We need to throw these masks off and breathe in the breath of God and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us, so we can bring the Holy Spirit to our world that so needs healing in many ways right now. Once we are transparent and true to ourselves, the world around us will see the grace of God and begin to wonder how to have His grace in their own lives.

What is Truth?

During this pandemic, I have been reading through the Gospels. I notice the details of events and words of Jesus and of others. I noticed the words that Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?” For most Christians, we give the nice quick answer that Jesus is the truth and we Christians know and have the truth. For the most part that is true. I do know that I have questioned what truth is.  For the past twenty-nine years of my life, I have worked with teenagers. When incidents occur among them, I try to search for the truth. I find myself asking, “What is truth? Who is telling the truth? How do you know this person is telling the truth and this person is not?” During this pandemic, these are all valid questions we all need to be asking of the media, the “experts,” the politicians, and even our own selves.

Facts prove truth. This can be true, but if you have read enough crime and drama, you know that facts can prove truth for both sides of the argument. There are some facts that are true, such as the coronavirus is a virus that affects human beings. Argue all you want. That is a true fact. There could be more details to that fact, but it is a fact that is true. The details can sometimes bring in the areas that make some more facts, that could be debatable. Then, we have a problem, so I ask, “What is truth?”

The Internet is full of facts. Some of the facts are skewed to fit an agenda whether that agenda is political or religious, but they are facts. People will claim that since these facts exist that they are true. Do we not remember that scientists called it a fact that the earth was flat? Now, we call people lunatics that believe that the earth is physically flat. The truth had to be discovered. Maybe that is it. Maybe instead of sharing articles or memes, we need to be searching for and discovering the truth. That will take time.

Time is what we have. Time proves truth. In time, the guilty confess to their crimes. In time, science is proven as bacteria grows or dissolves. With time, we can read entire books that teach us the truth of history. With time, we can watch historical documentaries that have facts. Sometimes, in time, the truth gets distorted.  People forget facts. Some people no longer exist that knew the facts. Time can prove facts, but it can also distort facts. We need to be wise with time and look at the entire context.

Truth gets distorted when we hear the facts but we don’t want to hear them because we have believed different facts all of our lives. We have to question if what we learned was truth or someone else’s version of the truth. I wonder how many young people in twenty years will be wondering what truth is with the facts that we are dispensing to them today. For me, these questions came when I went to Washington D.C. for the first time with my private school in 2013. I taught at that school, and as an adult, I was hearing stories, reading stories, and seeing archives for myself and wondered why I was not taught any of these truths in school. I didn’t learn them because the truth was distorted when people wrote about history without going to historical places or without much research. Besides, most of our history books are like reading a pamphlet on a detailed place, which is never going to dispense many facts or truth.

The truth becomes distorted when human beings begin to give their viewpoints. The truth becomes distorted when people want to hide facts in order to have people believe their viewpoint or believe their agenda. The truth becomes distorted when we only see the facts that benefit our agenda. The truth becomes distorted when we refuse to listen to the other person in the argument. The truth becomes distorted when we refuse to research for ourselves. We have to stop distorting the truth.

The truth is always revealed. It may not be in our lifetime, but it will be revealed. Having worked with teenagers, I take my time to discover the truth. I want to err with being slow in investigating instead of quick to a wrong verdict and demean or question a person’s character that is not deserving of that. This is how I also have remained in the truth of Christ. I had to discover what were human created rules, rituals, and laws, and what the actual truth is in the Bible and in Christ.

Even though Christians have injured my spiritual life, I have always searched for the facts and the truth. It has taken research, time, and building community with other people, both Christians and non-Christians. I have discovered that with the truth of Jesus, even though people distort His words, it does not mean that His words are not true. It means that we as human beings, need to listen to the truth of Jesus and begin living the truth of Jesus, and then others will see the truth of Jesus. There is a caution though in discovering the truth of Jesus: it will no longer be safe or comfortable, but it will be the truth.

Wisdom from the Movie, "The Hobbit": Sickness and Tragedy

I know that I’m behind in my movie experience, but I just started watching The Hobbit series, since I have so much time, and when I hear the character Gandalf speak, I’m usually grabbing for a pen to write down his wisdom. It started in the beginning when he stated, “Where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.” How appropriate for our current state of being. We have a physical sickness thriving throughout our world and already we can see the bad things following. It’s how we respond that will make a difference in our relations with others.

The sickness of coronavirus revealed the evil of social media. Scroll through social media and you will recognize the anger seething in people. Anger is not a sin; it’s what you do when you are angry that is a sin. When you belittle people or guilt-shame people, it’s sin. In the social media world, we have to remember most of us do not put our whole lives on the Internet. How we respond when someone disagrees with us reveals more about us then it does with the person who disagrees with us. If we are kind and gracious and explain ourselves, we reveal our kindness. If we are name-calling, belittling, and guilt-shaming, then we reveal to be angry and bitter people who struggle in life and refuse to deal with our own lives. First, we need to heal our own hurts, and then we can begin to inspire others. Now is the time that people need life affirming words not insults, belittlement, and guilt-shaming.

When the coronavirus began in America, panic ensued and people hoarded food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and water. When people fear, they don’t share resources but they hoard them. Now that time has passed, items are returning to store shelves, but we have to recognize that as a society, we tend to hoard. I hoard books. We hoard because we fear we will not have it in the future. With sickness, we hoard food and water because we want survival, not realizing that the most important action we could take with this sickness was to think of others and not hoard.

Murders occurred before the pandemic, but the videos went out during the pandemic and protests occurred. The protests revealed another sickness in our society and that is racism. Evil has ensued because of racism. People are tearing down people and not listening to them or being rude when they ask a question. It’s time that we listen and ask sincere questions. It’s time for many to become good teachers and answer those pesky questions with grace and love so that the person asking can learn, or else the sickness of racism will get worse, which will make life worse for all.

The sickness of COVID-19 caused businesses to close for a short while, but for some businesses the short while was too much and they had to close permanently or scale back on their employees. Many people lost their jobs. The sickness caused many to spiral into poverty. Instead of screaming at people on social media, it’s time we all look to those we can help, even if it is just purchasing something small on the Internet.

The sickness of coronavirus caused everyone to quarantine and stay in their homes. For the short term, many people were able to clean their homes, connect with their family, and finish projects that they started. After about two weeks, emotions raged. People spun into depression. Anxiety is high in homes where children are frustrated with homeschooling and not being able to play with friends. We all need to take the time to reach out to those who may be struggling with being home.

The coronavirus thrived and bad things have occurred. We cannot continue to allow the bad things to happen. We need to be aware of what we say and do in order to have good things happen. When we are healthy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, we just might also become healthy physically. The Bible gives great advice. “Be quick to listen and slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 (NIV) We need to listen before we speak, and when we do speak, we need to speak the truth in love not anger. We don’t need to win arguments. We need to listen. We need to speak with wisdom and truth in love. Let’s conquer the bad and the sickness may just diminish. I’m not a doctor or an expert, but I do know from experience that when love surrounds people, health abounds.