Finding Gratitude in Quarantine

I love to go outside of my home. I go to the gym to exercise. I go to a coffee shop to sit and write or grade. I go to a bookstore to discover the new books that are recent along with new books on sale. I go to a mall to just “window shop.” With my family, we go to Disneyland for a few hours at a time. I love going to church, Mosaic, and surround myself with my second family. I love going to movie theaters and theaters with plays and musicals. I love to explore places I have not visited in Los Angeles like museums, beaches, restaurants and malls and I love traveling outside of Los Angeles and exploring new places. I actually enjoy open houses during the time of looking to buy a house. I really love being with my friends no matter where we go. In the past two weeks, I have discovered how to appreciate my home, the Internet, and a trip to the grocery store so much more.

Fear can override an attitude of gratitude because it cripples us when life becomes difficult. We don’t see the good surrounding us. We don’t see what we have. Fear focuses on what we lack and begins to lead us to what is easy instead of what we need to do, which could be difficult.  It’s hard to be grateful in a time that is uncertain, but I have discovered that it is the only way I will thrive during this time of quarantine and what sometimes feels like isolation. I don’t just want to survive this quarantine. I want to thrive. I want to achieve the goals that I have set for myself for the year. This time of interruption just might give me the time that I so desperately need to achieve those goals. There are a few habits that I have to practice in order to have gratefulness and thrive and some habits that I have to quit.

When we are thankful, we use all our resources with wisdom. Time can be a valuable resource that can be tempting to waste during this quarantine. Some people may be gaining more fears and fretting during this time, but we need to use this resource of time with protection and During this time of quarantine, one way to be grateful is to allow the time that we have to be used wisely and to engage in activities that we have neglected. It can be used to reach out to people through the Internet or the phone that we have neglected contacting because we claim we have the lack of time. This large amount of time has been given to us. It is up to us how we use it if it is a blessing or a curse.  

The biggest obstacle to an attitude of gratitude is an attitude of complaining. We’re all in this together and each individual has his or her own struggles through this time. We complain because that is an easy solution that requires no action from us. We deflect to what is easy before we begin to resolve our problems. Resolving our problems takes work and good use of time. Complaining does not take any work and it wastes time. It is easy to wallow in our grief rather than to pick up and begin to do what is needed. I have done my fair share of complaining in life. It’s a bad habit. It’s a bad habit that does not show gratitude for what is good about the situation or about life. I am learning to lean on God with life issues that I cannot control and not complain, and to resolve to do what I can control. Giving up the habit of complaining shows gratitude to God.

I have to start cleaning. In the physical sense, I have to clean and organize my room, since I have to live in it and spend more time in it during this quarantine, but cleaning goes beyond the physical sense. I did take time to clean my desk so that I can Zoom my students for teaching. Now, I have to clean with details. I have to clean my soul from unhealthy thoughts that I am not good enough or that I do not have enough of good things in the world.  I have to clean sin from my life that has held me back from doing what God has called me to do. Cleaning can be done from the inside out during this time.

Blaming others deflects gratitude and reveals our resistance to change and adapt. I have spent many years of my life blaming others for what happened to me. There are incidents that other people caused. I still get to choose how I respond. Blaming others for what I don’t have does not get me what I need or desire. It only delays the process for me to begin to achieve what I need to do. I need to take responsibility for what I can control and for what I can do.

The most appropriate words that makes sense right now is from the cheesy musical, High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.” The difference between people will be those who choose to be grateful for what they have during this time and those who are ungrateful and choose to sit and wallow. The best advice comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Let us take this time to be grateful. We can write down one thing each day for which we are thankful. One of my planners has me do that daily, and it works! It has changed my attitude toward each day. Let us all take time to be thankful. In the end of all this, may we all be more grateful for the little things in life and live a life of gratitude and take for granted the small things that bring us joy in our lives.

The Power of Selflessness

Many of us are quarantined within the walls of our homes. For those who have to work to continue to serve our daily needs, thank you. For those of us that feel like we are stuck in time-out for way too long, we need to discover ways that we can serve others and be selfless during this time. A crisis will always reveal our true hearts and souls. It will reveal if we are selfless or selfish.

It is not about you. Those five words are critical in this pandemic. Being quarantined is not about you not getting the disease, but to keep you from being a carrier to others whose immune systems may not be able to defeat this disease. Once we change our mindset that we can live by faith and live selflessly at the same time, we change the dynamic of any crisis. Staying away from people does not mean we cannot create a better world.

Many of us have been given extra time to create. Some people during this time will be selfless enough to create something beautiful for the world. While being quarantined from the bubonic plague, Sir Isaac Newton discovered the theory of gravity along with other valuable physic theories that created a better world. It is believed that William Shakespeare wrote King Lear during the black plague when he was quarantined. Creating, cleaning, discovering new innovative inventions, learning more about a subject that you want to teach, learning a new language, cooking and baking, or doing any of the arts could all be used to serve others. We have the time to create, even if it is only an hour a day. It’s an hour that we may not have used before this crisis. Let’s use it now so that our work and creativity today will serve someone in the future.

Another way to be selfless is to not wallow in our loneliness and reach out and call someone. I know I have to be more diligent about this. We have become a society where most people text. Now is the time to actually speak with someone and have a conversation. We need to discover how our friends and family are doing through this crisis. We don’t have to have the answers for them. We just need to listen. Most people don’t want you to answer their problems or their situation. Most people just want someone to be there who is willing to listen. Let’s be selfless and be that person for someone else. We all need to give some time to the elderly and communication is vital.

There are other ways to communicate. We have discovered Zoom, which is an online conferencing website that has been a life savior during this time. We can use Zoom beyond business and set up Bible studies and book clubs, or game nights or whatever way we can connect with others. Social media does not have to be evil if we use it to connect with friends and family. We don’t have to be jealous of people posting their positive accomplishments. We can rejoice because we know that their long journey has come to fruition and that we can use it as an inspiration for our own desires. Selflessness allows us to rejoice with those who rejoice. We can reach out to those far away with social media and connect and encourage our friends and family.

Selflessness guides us to share our resources. If you are able to go out and gather supplies, gather some for an elderly neighbor or to donate to a mission. If you have the resources, give financially to places that are serving others such as hospitals, the missions, churches, schools for meals, etc. Being selfless is the best way to live during these times. It will create selflessness in the future when we are no longer quarantined to our homes.

Selfishness brings hoarding, fear, anger and bitterness. We have watched so many people in our society for the past century live in selfishness. They live by fear; they are angry; their anger turns to bitterness, which leads to choices that harms themselves and others. We can change that now. We are being given the opportunity to make that turn.

Let’s turn this around and be selfless and show the love of Jesus with our actions. We will be healthy in our soul, our body, and our heart. Our relationships will strengthen if we all are selfless. It’s not easy. If it were, everyone would already be doing it. Anything worth doing is never easy, but it’s always worth it. May we all live the life worth living as we live selflessly, just like the most selfless act of God. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Faith vs. Fear

I understand that this current virus is serious, but that doesn’t mean we live our lives in fear. We fear the unknown. It is evident when we fear the unknown when we go to a store to buy supplies and they are gone because people have hoarded them. When we fear the unknown, we will become slaves to those who cause us to fear.  Fear has a result of someone else controlling our actions, our actions leading to unwise choices, and selfishness.

When we fear, someone else gets to control our actions.  When I worked in the church, I feared getting fired so everyone was able to control my activities and time. when I did use the powerful word, “No,” I was usually greeted with, “You’ll get fired if you don’t…” Today, I’m like, “Oh, well. I’ve been there. Done that. Hope not to do it tomorrow, but I’m still not doing that activity that has nothing to do with my current job and workload.” Fear puts other people in charge of our lives. We have to create boundaries that doesn’t allow fear or anyone to control our lives.

Faith means we look inwardly and decide that the only person we can fix or change is ourselves. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control how we respond to those actions. Our response to those actions reveals our faith in God and in people. When we allow others to control our responses, our lives spiral out of control to the point that we become emotionally, spiritually, and physically weak and sick. When we gather strength, and move forward and away from those who want to control us to not do what we are gifted or called to do, we are living by faith. For the next few weeks, we can all live by faith and not by fear and not allowing those who want to control us with fear to lead us to make unwise choices.  

Fear creates unwise choices. Faith creates wise choices. My school, along with the entire Los Angeles school district sent us home for fourteen days. I advised my students to do the work that they were missing. It would be wise to do this during this time, so when they return, they can move forward in their academics. We all need to use our time wisely and pursue those tasks that we have pushed aside because we stated that we did not have time. For most of us, we just didn’t use our time wisely. Now, with much faith, we can use our time wisely. Many of those tasks are the dreams we want to pursue. We can stay away from public activities and begin pursuing those dreams. My job unknowingly gave me a two week break to have my own writing retreat at home. Pursuing our dreams is an action of faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen.” Hebrews 11:1 Substance is the physical matter of which things exist. Faith is not just unseen. It is the actions of what we can see and pursuing our dreams with those tasks that need to be done for our dreams to materialize are actions of faith with wisdom.

 Fear leads us to acts of selfishness. In no way do I want to shame anyone who has gathered many supplies out of fear. I get it. The media has scared us to death, and they are angrily screaming that they did not tell us to gather toilet paper. The one thing I did discover during this time is that fear makes us selfish. When we fear, we hoard. I hoard books. I don’t know if I am afraid there will be a world without books, or I will need to use the pages for toilet paper one day, but I do hoard books. I do know that I sometimes fear I will not know something or someone, so books become my teachers and friends. It’s something I’m trying to cure. Knowing our fears is the first step in overcoming our fears. Admitting to what we fear is what will help us gather faith. We can all begin to overcome our fears. It might be taking time to ourselves and turning off the noise of those who bring fears, and it will also take being selfless.

Selflessness was revealed to me on a mission trip a few years ago. This was a mission trip in Samoa where the community shared all of their supplies and resources with everyone in their village. Stealing was a huge crime because you only needed to ask for help and they would give. It was the poorest community I have ever encountered and they were more selfless than any American community that I have ever lived or visited. Selflessness is an act of faith. Selflessness means we do not respond with fear and hoarding, but we respond with giving. A church in Los Angeles is responding with school closures with giving meals for the families and children that would have received meals at school. This church always steps up in a crisis. The Dream Center is an example of a response with selflessness that reveals faith instead of fear. We can all do something, even if it is something small. It can be a small act of giving some time to reach out to someone who could be lonely. It could be donating money or supplies to those in need. We all need to step up and be a voice of faith and not fear and selflessness is one way of that becoming a reality.

During this time with the pandemic, may we all live with faith and not fear. May we pursue our dreams, make wise decisions, and give of ourselves selflessly to others. May we all put our fears away and, “Walk by faith and not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

Life is a Marathon

Today, thousands of people will join 1% of the world’s population in completing the full 26.6 mile Los Angeles Marathon, including about twenty students from my high school. Many of them keep a pace that sustains them for the entire race. A few, who have not done enough training, cannot finish the race because they thought it would be like a sprint. In life pursuits, many people begin to pursue their goals and dreams as if they are sprints and become disappointed when they don’t reach fruition. We must pursue our passions in life like a marathon and not a sprint.

You have to train for a marathon and the training takes time. The students at my school are at the school every day from September to the Friday before the marathon, which is in March, at 5:00 AM. They run in several races, and with each race they run a greater distance so they can be ready to endure the 26.2 miles in the Los Angeles full Marathon. Whatever we attempt to build in any endeavor in life, we must train as if it is a Marathon and not a sprint. Unfortunately, many in society are training for sprints and their influence hinders our race.

Last week at a writer’s conference, I was reminded that it takes time to get a book published. It is a marathon. Any great piece of art has taken time to create and although most of us want to create it like a sprint, it takes a marathon to be crafted. Art and sports are not the only endeavors that require marathons over sprints. Emotional life choices are also marathons.

Letting go of past hurts takes time. We don’t just wake up one day and decide that it is out of our lives. With time, our hearts and souls begin to heal, and our souls begin to heal with each day at a time, or each hour, or each minute or each moment. With that time, we do what it takes emotionally to let go such as counselling, reading, journaling, praying, or whatever it is that heals our souls. Although it takes time, it really takes letting go. If we do not let go, then there is no point if wondering why time does not heal. Time only heals when we begin to take the steps to begin the healing, and that time is long like a marathon.

Persistence works with time. Doing anything worthwhile in life takes persistence. Success is not achieved overnight. It does occur as we continue to persevere through the difficult times and the rejections. Through time we discover how to become better at what we are trying to achieve. Through time, we find community and those who can work with us and guide us along the way. Without taking the time like a marathon, we fizzle out and begin resisting instead of persisting.

The cliché, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” holds true. It takes large amounts of time to build anything that is worthy to create or build for others. In our world of modern technology, we want everything within an instant. We want our coffee in an instant, so we order it online. We want our food in an instant, so we put it in a microwave. We are able to communicate instantaneously. Our technology has helped us and hindered us, especially with the understanding that building a life that is worthy will never be instantaneous. It will take years to build, just like Rome.

We look at those who are successful and think that they became successful overnight. There is no overnight success. That is a lie. One celebrity said that she became famous overnight, only if you consider twelve years in the industry overnight.

We must remember that we are in control of our time. How we manage our time says more about our character than what we say we will do or what we want to do. Understanding that we must manage our time and use it wisely is part of the process. We must also understand that the best things in life come when we take the time to create. Life is a marathon. There are people running today that will make it across the finish line in less than three hours. The main group of people will finish in six to eight hours. There are the few in the back of the pack that will finish in eight to twelve hours, but they finished. They took the time to run an entire marathon. It’s not easy. It’s not quick, but the result is worth it. May we all approach our passions in life like a marathon and not a sprint.

Ask for Help

When I went back to Cincinnati, Ohio this last Christmas, I walked around my former college campus that is now closed thinking, “Why didn’t they ask for help?” I reminisced of all the good times that Cincinnati Christian University (Cincinnati Bible College) held for me. The incredible friendships that were built there have lasted a lifetime and the knowledge that we gained turned into wisdom in our adult years of life and ministry. Now the school is closed and all I could wonder is why didn’t they ask for help. It’s easy for me to look on the outside and ask that, but when I really begin to reflect, I have to ask myself the same thing, “Why didn’t I ask for help?”

Last weekend was Valentine’s Day weekend. I don’t hate the holiday, but I have not had good experiences with it either. I would like to sit back and blame all the wrongs that the guys did to me. I have done that for too long and it doesn’t fix anything. I looked back after walking the campus of Cincinnati Christian University and realized that in my life, when I needed to ask for help, I didn’t. My arrogance and ignorance caused me to fail in relationships and I sat in depression blaming the guys and blaming others who helped cause the failure and never looked inside and wondered what I could do. Now that I’m older, I realize that I need to ask for help.

Asking for help is difficult. It’s difficult because we have to admit that we are not as great as we think we are. Humility is a key component in life that we all need to attain and realize that it is a necessity of life. Throughout time, people have claimed that asking for help is a weakness, but it’s actually a strength. When we ask for help, we gain wisdom that we don’t naturally have. No one is knowledgeable about everything, so we have to ask those with more knowledge, wisdom, and life experience in order to be able to succeed.

Asking for help gives us direction. Once I discovered to ask for help, I realized that I have a direction and a purpose to continue to move forward. So many people are stuck in their past failures that they cannot even look in the direction that is in front of them much less begin to move forward. I know because I was stuck in the early 2000’s, but once I was forced to go in a new direction in life, I could only look forward and I was forced to ask for help every step of the way, which is why I was able not just survive or thrive.

Asking for help involves other people. My pastor, Erwin McManus, says that we need people to grow as humans and he is absolutely correct. We must work with others in order to accomplish our goals. No one is an island to themselves. When we are an island, we fail. If we ask for help, people know that we are struggling and then they reach out and begin to care.

Asking for help is scriptural. People in the Bible had to ask for help when they were in trouble. Most of the time, God intervened with sending them a person to do their work. In order for society to become better and humanity to begin behaving like humans, we need to rely on each other for help in areas that we are not experts at doing. We may do our one part really well, but imagined what could happen if we involved others with our endeavors. The first way to involve others is to ask for help. Cincinnati Christian University forgot that they were not an island. They had a strong base of humans that supported them. I forgot when I was younger that in order to have a relationship, I needed to engage in relationships that were healthy beyond the one person I was dating. It all begins with asking for help. May we all ask for help this week.

The Mirror or the Window?

When I look into the mirror, I see my own reflection. I use the mirror for applying make-up and doing my hair. I look to see if my hair is frizzy or parted in the wrong place. For my make-up, I look to see if it is smeared. When I look out of a window, I see how other people are living their lives and how they look. There is nothing I can do to change or fix their appearance or actions. They are outside. I am inside with my mirror. With a mirror, I have to look introspectively. I can see my own flaws and mistakes. With a window, I look on the outside and I can see the mistakes and flaws of others. What matters is where my focus is, so I can change the one on the inside.

In 2007, I took the time to look introspectively into myself and discover why specific events occurred in my life. At first, I looked out of the window and blamed others for my failures, but that did not heal me; it only made the whole situation worse. Once I took the time to look introspectively into my own life, I realized that I am the only person that I can change and fix. In the past thirteen years, I have been a better influence for others, as I have changed my perspective and attitude. I have tried to fix my own sins, flaws, and mistakes.  The result has been remarkable with others around me.

Once I decided to look into the mirror and change and fix myself, those outside of the window began to change. Some people actually did change and became better people because they too decided to work on their own issues and look into a mirror. Some people may not have changed, but since my perspective about them changed, I realized that they have their own reasons and can rationalize them, even if I vehemently disagree with their ideas on life. The point is I cannot change or fix them, and I need to stop looking out of the window and stay focused on the mirror and change and fix the one person that I can, me.

It’s easy to look out of the window and change and fix everyone else. It’s easy because if we just yell and scream at them, then we believe we have done our part. We can listen to them and even give them rational advice, but in the end, they are the only ones that can make a decision to change.

It’s difficult to look into the mirror and look introspectively in ourselves and change or fix what we need to do in our own lives. It’s difficult but it is so worth it. It’s difficult and worth it because we realize that we can make our own choices in life and respond to the ones that others do that hurt us. It’s difficult because we are the only ones that can fix our own mistakes, flaws, and sins, which also means we have to admit that we have the flaws and sins, and no one wants to do that, but it is necessary.

Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Luke 6:41 (NIV) Jesus knew that it is easier for us to see the flaws and sins of others than it is for us to see our own. He knows our hearts. When we do not want to see our own sins and flaws, we look at others so we do not have to confess our own sin. Jesus is right. We need to look at ourselves and not others.

I see all the political posts and all the guilt shaming that people do on social media. I see so many people, both Christians and non-Christians pointing out the flaws in others and never pointing out their own flaws. If we all could just work on that one person that we can truly change, the world around us would become so much better. It all starts with looking introspectively and looking into the mirror and not out the window.