The Mirror or the Window?

When I look into the mirror, I see my own reflection. I use the mirror for applying make-up and doing my hair. I look to see if my hair is frizzy or parted in the wrong place. For my make-up, I look to see if it is smeared. When I look out of a window, I see how other people are living their lives and how they look. There is nothing I can do to change or fix their appearance or actions. They are outside. I am inside with my mirror. With a mirror, I have to look introspectively. I can see my own flaws and mistakes. With a window, I look on the outside and I can see the mistakes and flaws of others. What matters is where my focus is, so I can change the one on the inside.

In 2007, I took the time to look introspectively into myself and discover why specific events occurred in my life. At first, I looked out of the window and blamed others for my failures, but that did not heal me; it only made the whole situation worse. Once I took the time to look introspectively into my own life, I realized that I am the only person that I can change and fix. In the past thirteen years, I have been a better influence for others, as I have changed my perspective and attitude. I have tried to fix my own sins, flaws, and mistakes.  The result has been remarkable with others around me.

Once I decided to look into the mirror and change and fix myself, those outside of the window began to change. Some people actually did change and became better people because they too decided to work on their own issues and look into a mirror. Some people may not have changed, but since my perspective about them changed, I realized that they have their own reasons and can rationalize them, even if I vehemently disagree with their ideas on life. The point is I cannot change or fix them, and I need to stop looking out of the window and stay focused on the mirror and change and fix the one person that I can, me.

It’s easy to look out of the window and change and fix everyone else. It’s easy because if we just yell and scream at them, then we believe we have done our part. We can listen to them and even give them rational advice, but in the end, they are the only ones that can make a decision to change.

It’s difficult to look into the mirror and look introspectively in ourselves and change or fix what we need to do in our own lives. It’s difficult but it is so worth it. It’s difficult and worth it because we realize that we can make our own choices in life and respond to the ones that others do that hurt us. It’s difficult because we are the only ones that can fix our own mistakes, flaws, and sins, which also means we have to admit that we have the flaws and sins, and no one wants to do that, but it is necessary.

Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Luke 6:41 (NIV) Jesus knew that it is easier for us to see the flaws and sins of others than it is for us to see our own. He knows our hearts. When we do not want to see our own sins and flaws, we look at others so we do not have to confess our own sin. Jesus is right. We need to look at ourselves and not others.

I see all the political posts and all the guilt shaming that people do on social media. I see so many people, both Christians and non-Christians pointing out the flaws in others and never pointing out their own flaws. If we all could just work on that one person that we can truly change, the world around us would become so much better. It all starts with looking introspectively and looking into the mirror and not out the window.