Monday, April 25, 2022

Christians: Stop Public Shaming!

 “You’re doing it wrong!” The frustrated kindergartner looked up at my friend who was subbing in his class. My friend is an amazing disciplinarian when it comes to working with middle schoolers. This class confounded him and within the first half hour when he switched up the schedule, this little guy let him know he was doing it all wrong. The kindergartener was not impressed. He thought my friend was not intelligent and wanted the person who did school right back. He wanted his teacher who was real and truthful, even if this teacher was giving him an extra recess. It may appear right, but it was not right. 


I want to reiterate those words to Christians who keep blasting other Christians in public. “You’re doing it wrong!” Look, we all sin. We all make mistakes. We all at some time need someone to sit down with us and explain to us how our sin is affecting their lives and the lives of others. Jesus gave us a clear path to do this, and yet we continue to scream with our megaphones of how sinful other Christians, especially leaders are. We are doing it wrong. 


If we have the steps to do it correctly, why do we do it wrong? The answer is simple. We are sinners. We sin when we decide to be judge and jury and call out people’s sins in public, which includes social media. People blast Christian leaders on social media all the time. We consistently inform the people who follow us how sinful those leaders are. 


It’s not just that we are sinners and sin too, but that we refuse to repent of our sins. We blast other people so that they will not see our sins. Serial killers are notorious for this action. They behave the way everyone wants them to in public, but in secret they are destroying human beings. If we call out people’s flaws and sins in public, we are destroying human beings. We are not fixing or changing the world. We are making the world a bigger mess. It’s time we begin to clean up our own mess. 


I confess. I am guilty of having done this. It took one passage to come to life for me that made me stop. Even though Jesus informed us in Matthew 18 how to confront people. We are to go to them one on one first, then bring witnesses, then the whole church, and then treat that person like an outsider if he or she does not listen to all the steps. There is another passage that gives us how to confront someone who has sinned. Oh, and the first two steps are done in private. Jesus never shamed anyone. We must stop guilt shaming people. It is wrong, and it doesn’t work. 


There is a passage that tells us what to do when we know someone is in a sinful life. In James 5:16 it states that we are to confess our sins to each other. If we do that, then, we can heal. Then we pray. Once we pray, the prayer of a righteous person will be powerful and effective. Look at that first action. If you are going to tell someone their sins, you must confess yours to them. I don’t see people doing that on social media. In fact, I don’t see people doing that very often in real life. People just want to point their fingers and blast other people for their sins. 


Just like our secret sins, social media gives a place to hide. Usually, what I see on social media is outright blasts. Some people call it criticism. Some people call it trying to help someone. I call it a super righteous person pretending to be perfect calling out others for their sins and yet, never mentioning theirs. You know why they do this? They don’t want you to see their secret sin. They don’t want you to see their flaws. They want to appear super righteous, holy, and good. These people do more damage to the church and to other people than they realize. I know because I have been on both sides of the fence. I’ve been the one to put others on blast, and I have been blasted. 


Dear Christians, it’s time we stop screaming. It’s time we stop being right, and we start being loving. Just because a person is well-known does not give you the right to put them on blast in public. All the passages in scripture that involve confronting someone requires a relationship. We must build relationships with other people before we confront them. Notice that Nathan was a trusted friend of David’s when he confronted him with his sin.


We must begin to love. Do you want to be put on blast? Do you want everyone to tell the whole world of your sins? If the answer to those questions is no, then let us all stop doing it to others. Now more than ever, our world needs the love of Jesus. Once people come to Jesus, he will change them. We cannot change people, but we can change ourselves and inspire other people. We want the church to change the world. Let us change from the inside out. 



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