Pastors are People

In our current times, people have been in shock with the pastors who have had death by suicide. Recently, a young pastor in Southern California at a mega church died by suicide. It’s not just pastors in mega churches or medium sized churches. Pastors in small churches have also died by suicide. Yes, it’s a mental health issue. Yes, pastors get depressed and stress out about activities that are useless in the long run. Christians can be loving, kind, and some of the best humans to be with in community. Christians can also be cruel.

I know that Christians are humans and we sin, but I believe it’s time that we as human beings begin to empower other human beings and encourage them and lift them up like the Bible tells us to do. I would love for us to start with our leaders. There are ways people in the congregation can help with these situations.

1.     Realize that pastors are people and not God. Pastors are not God. They need to rest. They make mistakes and they sin. They hurt and they hurt others. Once we begin treating pastors like they are people, we realize that God is higher and stronger than any human and it is only through God that all can receive grace and redemption.

2.     Pastors need rest. When I was in ministry, being a workaholic was praised. First, even God took a day of rest from his creation. Since no one is God, all of us need a day of rest. Second, since we live in America (in other countries, take those afternoon siestas!), the working group of people get two days off. Since pastors work on Sundays, they should take two days off. They are people, not machines. Pastors need rest because working with people is strenuous on our hearts and minds. Being a workaholic makes us weak and tired.

3.     Build pastors, not break them. When I was in full-time ministry, I went to church stressed wondering who would complain to me that day. Stop. First, if you are offended by the pastor, follow Mathew 18 and go to that pastor in private, which is never, ever, on a Sunday or another time we are gathered at church.  Most people feel vindicated when they complain and insult the leaders in the church, especially pastors without any regard of how the pastor thinks or feels. The brain is a complicated organ. We don’t know what event can make a person break. We just know that we can break people. Jesus never told us to break people, and for goodness sake, stop threatening to fire the pastor, or one day, you’ll get someone like me who will say, “So what? As a volunteer, I’ll tick you off more.” If you must speak to a pastor because you are offended, go in private. Give a positive attribute and action of that pastor, then give the offense. Work to repair the relationship with your pastor. (This is not abuse. In that case, go to the authorities.)

4.     Empower and Encourage your pastors. The Bible states that we are to encourage one another. When you see your pastors, encourage them, even if the message was boring. Find something that they do well and build them up. No one wants to be around people who are always tearing them down. What would happen to the church as a whole if people started building up the leaders? I bet people would start encouraging other people in the church. I bet the church would be the one community people could go to for encouragement.

5.     Pray for your leaders. Prayer works. Pray for your leaders daily. Pray that they make the right decisions, which may not be the decisions that you like, but Christianity is not about our preferences. Pray that they are not tempted. Pray for their health, both mental and physical.

6.     Be kind to the families. I have heard horror stories of pastor’s wives having nervous breakdowns because of the stress of the church. I have known pastor’s kids to walk away from the church and God because of how the people in the church treated their family. Treat the pastor’s family like anyone else in the church. The children may or may not be well-behaved. There is a reason. You take all the time away from their parents. You stress out their parents. Show love and acceptance to the pastor’s families. Do a kind deed for them.

7.     Be aware. The ministry can be lonely. It has stress. They don’t teach us in our Christian colleges how to deal with all of the stress. There is beauty in ministry. There are rewards that are unbelievable. I have more good memories than bad. It takes the church coming together as a family and repairing the relationships within the family.

May we all do better. May we all be better human beings. I hope I begin to hear that pastors are healing our communities and bring people together. I hope that I hear that so many people are giving their lives to Christ that our churches have to meet in tents because they are so full and have so many services. I know. I’m an idealist, but having been on the other side, I know where the hurts are. I know where the strengths are. I know that I will continue to take the time to encourage and empower the staff members at my church, even if they don’t understand it.