Caroline's Writings: End of a Passive Year

Caroline's Writings: End of a Passive Year: My word for 2019 is active. This past year everyone on the Internet has claimed to be “offended by” something that has oc...

End of a Passive Year

My word for 2019 is active. This past year everyone on the Internet has claimed to be “offended by” something that has occurred.  In no way am I condemning or making fun of anyone. (I know that there are several posts from people that do.)  At some point, we are all offended by something or the actions of someone. Being offended is not the problem.  Doing nothing is the problem.  It has taken me years to stop living in that passive voice and begin living in the active voice.  My word for 2019, “active” connects to a small English lesson and a year of reading “I’m offended by…”

In writing, there are two types of voice for verbs, active and passive.  A passive voice can reveal apathy and the subject allowing someone or something to have power over it.   As an English teacher, I have been holding my tongue for a very long time.  So, today I want to reminisce on this last year and how all of us can do better.  Let me reiterate that I am in no way making fun of anyone.  I’m just pointing out the voice of which sentences were stated and written, especially in social media and other media forms.  The whole movement “I’m offended by…” is based on passive sentences.  Good writers know that the best work is written in the active voice because people prefer to read it because of who has the power. The active voice puts the protagonist in control of his or her situation. 

An example of an active voice is: “He took the pen and wrote the entire book in three weeks.  The reader is now impressed with the writer.  An example of a passive voice is: “The entire book was written in three weeks by him.”  Notice the difference?  In the first sentence, the author gets the honor for doing such a magnificent work in a short amount of time.  In the second sentence, the book gets the credit for how long it took for being written, and there might be some skepticism of how well the author wrote it, as the book as the power.  Sorry for the English lesson, but I was reminded of this a few years ago in my own writing, as I wrote in the passive voice.  It made sense.  I was living in the passive voice.  We should notice the real difference.  When we speak or write in the passive voice, we empower those that do something to us.  We allow others to have power over us. When we speak or write in the active voice, we become empowered for our actions. 

When I lived in that passive voice, I thought my life was horrible because of what others did to me.  Once I took control of my own actions, I was able to live in freedom.  It has been a difficult transition, and at times, I am misunderstood.  I have to apologize for those times.  Like everyone else, I just want the world to be a better place.  At other times, I find myself slipping back into my passive voice.  I try to quickly recover. 

With all of the terrible events in the world of which we have instant information, thanks to the Internet, it is understandable why so many people are offended.  As an older person, I have discovered one of the greatest revelations.  I can apologize that I offended you.  I then move forward in life.  Whatever you do with that apology is on you.  I moved forward.  I can only hope that you have too.

There are a couple of realizations that came to me through this year of being offended.  First, as a Christian, I cannot be offended by someone else’s beliefs or thoughts or life choices that don’t directly affect me.  I can grieve and pray for them, but I refuse to give them power over my emotional and spiritual health.  Jesus told his disciples that if people reject their message, shake the dust off of their feet and move on to the next place.   We need to do the same.  With Jesus, people may choose or reject Him.  He does not force himself on anyone, so I do not need to force Him on anyone either. 

Second, speaking or writing in the passive voice creates apathy.  The people who continually are offended by someone or something do not understand why people are not responding to all their offenses.  To be honest, we may also be offended, but we are too busy trying to do something that could create a difference somewhere in the world. We need to believe that we are doing something worthwhile that makes a difference, whether it is in our day job or in our volunteering.  If we all believe that what we do makes a difference, then we would be too busy to be offended by a movie or a song or a book or a hairstyle or whatever else we can think of.

Third, when people are offended by something, they are empowering the person who offended them.  Jesus said if someone offends you, go to that person in PRIVATE and confront that person.  Social media is not private.  Yes, there is a progression in that passage that does not remain private, but I’ve never seen it get to the last point because when Matthew 18 is practiced, it works on the first step!  If you don’t confront someone in private, then you are empowering that person, and that person knows he or she has power over you.  We should not give our power away to people who do not deserve it, and we should never give our power away to those who hurt us.  Once you continue to state you are offended by something, you give someone power over you.  Jesus told you how to get that power back.  In Matthew 18, He tells you to go confront that person.  Once you go, you then have the power.  It all depends on us being active. 

Fourth, when people are offended by someone or something, they are no longer taking responsibility for their own sin or flaws or wrongdoings but focus on the sins, flaws, and wrongdoings of others.   All over social media, people are offended and they tell everyone how offended they are. In these situations, rarely does anyone confess his or her own flaws and/or sins because they are too busy pointing out the sins and flaws of those who offended them. If we are able to focus on the flaws and sins of others, then we do not have to look at our own sins and flaws.  This has been the chaos for the past few years.  It has developed into a society that blames others for their actions and it encourages self-indulgence.  We have become a society of very little repentance.  We need to take responsibility for our wrongdoings.   We need to confess, apologize (repent), and move forward.  If someone offends us, we confront that person in private.

Living in the active world gives power.  Living in the passive world gives that power to the person or persons who have hurt you.  It’s not wrong to be offended.  It’s how long we choose to just sit and be offended and do nothing that becomes the problem.  Speak, write, and act in the active voice and soon you will discover that you do not have time for anyone to have power over you with their offenses.  I lived in that passive life. I allowed others to have power over me.  I’m done with that, so that is why my word for 2019 is “Active.”  I’m going to choose to not live in the passive but in the active.  From all of my experiences, I have learned that it is only in the active that I will be able to make any kind of a difference in the world.  Like everyone else, I will fail, but I will get up, brush it off, and start again, which is the process of being active. 

Merry Christmas

People gather around at Christmas with families and friends.  No matter how big the gathering is, Christmas brings us together.  Jesus brings people together.  The first Christmas was no exception.  The family gathering was small with just Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, but the visitors that came understood the meaning of Christmas better than anyone else in the region. 

After Jesus was born and while they were still in a barn, shepherds came to visit him.  An angel came to them and told them about the Savior that was born.  They understood because they were waiting for years for this Savior.  They went immediately.  Did they leave their flock of sheep?  Did they bring the sheep with them?  Whichever they did, they did not stop and ask permission from their bosses.  They went to Jesus not worrying about their jobs or their livelihood.  Jesus was more important.  Too many times in our society today, we put our jobs before Jesus, even me.  We state the importance of our jobs when in reality, Jesus is much more valuable. After they left, they told others about Jesus.  Once we come to Jesus, we need to share him with others.

A few years later or some time later (Because the Bible says they went to the house), magi came from the East to see Jesus.  They had heard that he was born and wanted to see him.  They asked King Herod where he was, but he didn’t know.  He only wanted to kill him when he did discover it, so that he wouldn’t be threatened.  The same occurs today.  There are people who kill those who bring the message of Jesus, but they can never kill Jesus, or the message.  The magi came to the house and gave gifts.

Their gifts were elaborate and were symbolic.  They gave gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Gold represents a king.  Jesus is the king of kings.  Frankincense is oil that gives an aroma for calming and healing.  Jesus brings peace and healing to those who come to him.  Myrrh is also oil that gives the same aroma that was used for burial.  It represented relief from stress and anxiety, as it represents that Jesus came to die for us so that we can live eternally relieving us from death. The magi, who were from the East and probably not Jewish, understood the coming of the King more than most of the Jews. It’s not our heritage.  It’s our acceptance and belief in Jesus that saves us.

Perhaps the greatest thing that the magi did was that they returned home after being warned in a dream by an angel to take a different route home.  King Herod wanted to kill Jesus.  The magi obeyed.  They met Jesus and didn’t go back to their old ways, but returned on a new route.  When we come to Jesus, we must continue with life on a new route. 

The people that came to Jesus on that first Christmas are more than statues in a manger scene.  Their significance reminds us of how we are to come to Jesus with humility, joy, and return to life with a new route and spread the news about him.  That’s the joy of Christmas.  May we remember this Christmas morning the child born so long ago and the salvation that brings peace and joy that he brought to this world. 

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Presents

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Presents: Every year at this time of the season, I am entertained at how people shop for Christmas.   Put a man inside of Bath and Body and the sale...

Christmas Presents

Every year at this time of the season, I am entertained at how people shop for Christmas.  Put a man inside of Bath and Body and the sales clerk and help him overspend.  The parking lots are full and tempers begin to flare with the drivers.  All of this occurs so people can buy gifts for Christmas.  If we are not careful, we will miss the joy of giving and the best gift the world has ever received.

There is scientific research that endorses that giving can be emotionally healthy.  Giving can lead to happiness more than receiving.  Many people try to search for the perfect gift for their loved ones.  It’s not a bad thing.  Giving gifts is one way we show love and appreciation, as it is one of the five languages of love.  It’s not lower than the other languages of love.  It’s just one language that some people may have that expresses their love for others better than another love language like using words. 

Even in the mythological stories of Christmas, giving is essential and is considered to bring joy to the one who is giving.  If we look at the character of Santa Claus, he always smiles and is full of happiness as he travels around the world to give gifts.  He doesn’t do it to show-off, but he is invisible, so the person receiving the gift can be in awe of the giver. 

The best gift was given at Christmastime.  I know.  I know.  Jesus was probably not born in December, but we celebrate the coming of the greatest gift given to the world on a day that the pagan society thought of just celebrating the gift of winter.  God sent his son at a time that the world needed a Savior.  They thought they needed a political leader to save them from their human enemies, but in reality they needed someone to save them from their sins and crush our biggest enemy, Satan. 

Jesus came into the world quietly.  They wrapped him in cloths.  I was reminded this morning at church that there was no room for him in the inn.  God doesn’t push his way where he is not invited.  He was born in a barn.  He had shepherds come visit, and then later some wise men or magi who were searching for him.  Everyone who met him when he was born rejoiced when they left his presence.  They knew that his physical presence was the greatest present that this world would ever receive. 

Jesus came and brought love, compassion, wisdom, and truth.  Most of all, he brought life.  Jesus came to the world to save us from our sins.  Some people scoff at this gift.  Even at the time that Jesus was born, people expecting a political savior didn’t accept the human man, Jesus who hung out with twelve ragamuffins, healed the sick, and ate with sinners.  He taught with authority.  Then they crucified him and he died, but unlike all the others, he came back from the dead.  He conquered death.  He died so we would not die in our sin.

Our world is corrupt and in desperate need of a Savior.  This Christmas let us remember to give the gift of Jesus.  It may be with our words.  It may be with spending time with those that are difficult to love.  It just may be our presence with someone who needs a person instead of a present.  May we all accept the greatest Christmas gift ever…Jesus.  Merry Christmas. 

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Lights

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Lights: During the Christmas season we see houses, stores, shopping malls, and even amusement parks decorated with beautiful arrays of lights.   W...

Christmas Lights

During the Christmas season we see houses, stores, shopping malls, and even amusement parks decorated with beautiful arrays of lights.  Whether people decorate with a huge amount of lights like in the movies, Christmas Vacation or Deck the Halls, or if they just have a small chain of lights around their homes, lights are bringing happiness to the holiday season.  There are neighborhoods that decorate their homes so well that people come from far and near to see the lights.  Light.  It is ironic that the commercialism of Christmas picked up on one of the greatest symbols of Christmas. 

There was only one light that guided the wise men to Jesus over 2,000 years ago.  It was a star that they followed.  God guided them with a light to lead them to the light.  Once they met Jesus, they took another route home and were changed forever. Jesus does that. Jesus brings light to a world full of darkness because of sin.  As Christians, we are to bring that light to others.  In our current society, many people do not see us as a light.  We can bash others for not following and obeying God’s Word, but if we are not a light to others, then we also are not following and obeying God’s Word. If I work more on myself to be a light in a world of darkness, I have less time to bash others not following Jesus and more time to show them Jesus.

To be a light in the world means I have to bring joy to others.  It does not mean that I have to agree with everyone, nor do I have to drop my core beliefs.  We need to be light that make people see us and want what we have…Jesus.  To be the light means having the attitude of a servant and doing the job that no one else wants to do.  To be the light means having an attitude of compassion and discovering a way to help those less fortunate and gathering others in your ideas.  Being the light means listening to others and not giving advice, but just listening to their story.

To be the light in the world means to love.  Love is an action.  It is a verb.  Christmas is a time that many people gather with family and friends.  It is those that are most difficult to love that we must love.  We must love as if we are the houses with the most lights.  Our love must stand out.  Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.”  Since Jesus is the light, we must share that light with others.  It is only through love that others can see our light.  Jesus loved others when he was here on earth.  He didn’t argue.  He made statements that silenced people because he loved them.  This Christmas may we all choose to be the light to others and bring some cheer to those who need it.

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Movies

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Movies: I love Christmas movies.   No matter what time of the year, if a good Christmas movie is on television, I watch it.   There are so many fo...

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Movies

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Movies: I love Christmas movies.   No matter what time of the year, if a good Christmas movie is on television, I watch it.   There are so many fo...

Christmas Movies

I love Christmas movies.  No matter what time of the year, if a good Christmas movie is on television, I watch it.  There are so many for us to choose.  There are the big comedies that do well in theaters, or like Elf that becomes a classic.  There are dramas like It’s a Wonderful Life that remind us the little acts of kindness in life make a big difference.  Family movies like Home Alone, A Christmas Story, and Miracle on 34^th Street bring the wonders of childhood to all of us. There are the sappy happy movies on Hallmark channel and now Lifetime.  There are many stories of Santa.  The Santa Clause Trilogy that explains all of the Santa secrets and many others remind us that a saint is someone who puts the needs of others before his or her own needs. The one main constant of all of these stories is that Christmas is a story and is not perfect. 

To the amusement and confusion of some people this Christmas season all Christmas movies have conflict, protagonists, antagonists, joy, and craziness.  The reason these movies have all of these is because it is life. I can’t help but laugh with a loud roar at the confusion of the many families portrayed in the movies.  You know why?  They remind me of my crazy family and the messes that we have encountered around the holidays. Life is not perfect.  Life contains activities and elements that create our lives to be messy.  We are all people and people make a mess. 

One night over 2,000 years ago, a baby was born that was promised to clean up our messes and he did.  Jesus is the only perfect human to live on this earth.  He surrounded himself with imperfect people.  His mother and father were not perfect.  Jesus being perfect is able to clean up our messes, forgive us, and teach us to do the same.  Jesus came to earth not to make our lives easier or more pleasant, but to forgive us of our sins because our sins make us a mess.

Before Jesus was born, his parents had to go to his father’s hometown for a census.  Mary had to travel while pregnant and very close to her delivery date.  When Jesus was born, his parents had to stay in a barn.  I know.  It was in a cave…with animals.  Shepherds came and visited them.  When he was a bit older, the wise men came with gifts that were not practical at all, but were symbolic of his future.  Jesus came as a baby.  A baby cries, poops, cries, eats, cries, sleeps, and then cries some more.  That great Christmas Carol, “Away in a Manger,” misses the point.  Jesus was perfect and sinless, but he was still a human with human needs and human emotions.  He understands us and is there for us as we need help to clean up our mess.

No one’s Christmas festivities are perfect.  It’s the one thing the movies have right.  We keep comparing our lives with what we think others are doing.  In reality, we need to compare ourselves and look up to the Savior who came one night in the most messy of situations.  He came to sacrifice for us.  We can sacrifice our ideals and create memories with our families and enjoy the mess that Christmas brings.  It brings hope, joy, and love because in a messy situation, Jesus, the Messiah, was born so that we could live. 

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Music

Caroline's Writings: Christmas Music: As I sit writing this, I’m listening to a new Christmas album.   I know that it’s silly to buy new Christmas music becaus...

Christmas Music

As I sit writing this, I’m listening to a new Christmas album.  I know that it’s silly to buy new Christmas music because it is only for a season, but I also know that the season is only for commercialism.  The story of Jesus coming to earth for us is for our salvation and to remember that when life seems bleak or it seems as if God is silent, a big event is arriving.  That news is for all year long. 

Music is powerful.  It can influence our mood and emotions with just the tone.  Once we add lyrics to the sounds, it can become life changing.  Music tells a story.  The Israelites were waiting for a Messiah.  Hundreds of years passed with God being silent, and then on a Silent Night, joy came into the world.  With Christ coming into the world, joyous songs burst out because salvation from sin was brought into the world that very night. 

Too many times we all get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas.  We want to buy the best presents that represent what we feel about someone.  We want those receiving the gifts to be pleased.  We want to receive gifts that we can use and appreciate, and not those that we have to return to the store.  Decorations around the house can become more laborious than joyful when we decide every item must be perfect or someone tries to change something.  Parties are abundant and more gifts to buy.  Shopping centers are crowded and the parking lots are a mess.  Everyone wants something from someone and we stretch our money into the upcoming year with more debt.  These are the reasons that people do not want the Christmas season to start early. 

Christmas can be difficult for people who have lost loved ones or have had a difficult year and are alone for the holidays.  I didn’t discover the beauty of Christmas music until a couple of years ago when I was writing.  I realized that it always brightened my mood and gave me hope because the story of Jesus being born brings us hope.  The coming of Jesus brings us hope.  Jesus brings us hope. 

As I walk through the crowded malls and stores, I smile when I hear the Good News blaring through the intercoms as shoppers push around me to get their goodies.  A simple Christmas carol can deliver the good News of Jesus.   In earlier centuries they would ring the church bells and the bells of the city to announce good news.  So, let’s ring in the Christmas season with our Christmas bells that may sound more like synthesizers.  The worship team at my church modernizes the Christmas carols and the message is still there.  The message of Christmas is to announce the birth of Jesus.  It’s difficult, but let’s try to listen above the noise to hear the beauty of the songs that are playing all around us during this “season.”