End of a Passive Year

My word for 2019 is active. This past year everyone on the Internet has claimed to be “offended by” something that has occurred.  In no way am I condemning or making fun of anyone. (I know that there are several posts from people that do.)  At some point, we are all offended by something or the actions of someone. Being offended is not the problem.  Doing nothing is the problem.  It has taken me years to stop living in that passive voice and begin living in the active voice.  My word for 2019, “active” connects to a small English lesson and a year of reading “I’m offended by…”

In writing, there are two types of voice for verbs, active and passive.  A passive voice can reveal apathy and the subject allowing someone or something to have power over it.   As an English teacher, I have been holding my tongue for a very long time.  So, today I want to reminisce on this last year and how all of us can do better.  Let me reiterate that I am in no way making fun of anyone.  I’m just pointing out the voice of which sentences were stated and written, especially in social media and other media forms.  The whole movement “I’m offended by…” is based on passive sentences.  Good writers know that the best work is written in the active voice because people prefer to read it because of who has the power. The active voice puts the protagonist in control of his or her situation. 

An example of an active voice is: “He took the pen and wrote the entire book in three weeks.  The reader is now impressed with the writer.  An example of a passive voice is: “The entire book was written in three weeks by him.”  Notice the difference?  In the first sentence, the author gets the honor for doing such a magnificent work in a short amount of time.  In the second sentence, the book gets the credit for how long it took for being written, and there might be some skepticism of how well the author wrote it, as the book as the power.  Sorry for the English lesson, but I was reminded of this a few years ago in my own writing, as I wrote in the passive voice.  It made sense.  I was living in the passive voice.  We should notice the real difference.  When we speak or write in the passive voice, we empower those that do something to us.  We allow others to have power over us. When we speak or write in the active voice, we become empowered for our actions. 

When I lived in that passive voice, I thought my life was horrible because of what others did to me.  Once I took control of my own actions, I was able to live in freedom.  It has been a difficult transition, and at times, I am misunderstood.  I have to apologize for those times.  Like everyone else, I just want the world to be a better place.  At other times, I find myself slipping back into my passive voice.  I try to quickly recover. 

With all of the terrible events in the world of which we have instant information, thanks to the Internet, it is understandable why so many people are offended.  As an older person, I have discovered one of the greatest revelations.  I can apologize that I offended you.  I then move forward in life.  Whatever you do with that apology is on you.  I moved forward.  I can only hope that you have too.

There are a couple of realizations that came to me through this year of being offended.  First, as a Christian, I cannot be offended by someone else’s beliefs or thoughts or life choices that don’t directly affect me.  I can grieve and pray for them, but I refuse to give them power over my emotional and spiritual health.  Jesus told his disciples that if people reject their message, shake the dust off of their feet and move on to the next place.   We need to do the same.  With Jesus, people may choose or reject Him.  He does not force himself on anyone, so I do not need to force Him on anyone either. 

Second, speaking or writing in the passive voice creates apathy.  The people who continually are offended by someone or something do not understand why people are not responding to all their offenses.  To be honest, we may also be offended, but we are too busy trying to do something that could create a difference somewhere in the world. We need to believe that we are doing something worthwhile that makes a difference, whether it is in our day job or in our volunteering.  If we all believe that what we do makes a difference, then we would be too busy to be offended by a movie or a song or a book or a hairstyle or whatever else we can think of.

Third, when people are offended by something, they are empowering the person who offended them.  Jesus said if someone offends you, go to that person in PRIVATE and confront that person.  Social media is not private.  Yes, there is a progression in that passage that does not remain private, but I’ve never seen it get to the last point because when Matthew 18 is practiced, it works on the first step!  If you don’t confront someone in private, then you are empowering that person, and that person knows he or she has power over you.  We should not give our power away to people who do not deserve it, and we should never give our power away to those who hurt us.  Once you continue to state you are offended by something, you give someone power over you.  Jesus told you how to get that power back.  In Matthew 18, He tells you to go confront that person.  Once you go, you then have the power.  It all depends on us being active. 

Fourth, when people are offended by someone or something, they are no longer taking responsibility for their own sin or flaws or wrongdoings but focus on the sins, flaws, and wrongdoings of others.   All over social media, people are offended and they tell everyone how offended they are. In these situations, rarely does anyone confess his or her own flaws and/or sins because they are too busy pointing out the sins and flaws of those who offended them. If we are able to focus on the flaws and sins of others, then we do not have to look at our own sins and flaws.  This has been the chaos for the past few years.  It has developed into a society that blames others for their actions and it encourages self-indulgence.  We have become a society of very little repentance.  We need to take responsibility for our wrongdoings.   We need to confess, apologize (repent), and move forward.  If someone offends us, we confront that person in private.

Living in the active world gives power.  Living in the passive world gives that power to the person or persons who have hurt you.  It’s not wrong to be offended.  It’s how long we choose to just sit and be offended and do nothing that becomes the problem.  Speak, write, and act in the active voice and soon you will discover that you do not have time for anyone to have power over you with their offenses.  I lived in that passive life. I allowed others to have power over me.  I’m done with that, so that is why my word for 2019 is “Active.”  I’m going to choose to not live in the passive but in the active.  From all of my experiences, I have learned that it is only in the active that I will be able to make any kind of a difference in the world.  Like everyone else, I will fail, but I will get up, brush it off, and start again, which is the process of being active.