Starting a New Year...In August

 Most adults look forward to starting the new year on New Year’s Day; however young people get to start a new year in August or September when they return to school after summer break. As a teacher, I get to start a new year too. Since I have been a teacher, I have realized that I don’t have to set goals or create new habits only at the beginning of a new year. I can have fresh new starts throughout the year. They can be each month, each week, and each day. Our ultimate goal is to restart every day. 

You cannot have a wish list of dreams when you are going to start new. You must prepare yourself. In our current society, people are upset with successful people because they are envious. We cannot live in envy but create our own success. When we are focused on our own lives and living out our passions, we don’t have time to condemn or judge others. God has called us to a purpose. We must live out our purpose for him. 

First, we need our supplies. As a writer, I love “Back to School” sales, but as a teacher, I hate to see the signs because I know that my summer break is ending. In order to succeed in the classroom, you have to have the right supplies. Whatever you need to reach your goals, you need to have the right supplies. 

I have discovered that my best supplies are my prayer and Bible reading time. I have set-up my supplies and my time. When I am able to be consistent, I am able to remember that when life goes wrong, God is on my side. 

I also make sure I have my supplies for my writing life and teaching life. Being prepared is essential in any area in life, but if I walk into a classroom unprepared, life is rough. People rely on us being prepared. So, whatever it is that is your purpose in life, make sure to gather the correct supplies. 

Next, you need to have a positive attitude. Some people have made their success with encouraging people to be positive. It’s not just that. We all fall. We all fail. We need to be positive that with God, we can turn it around or make the best of the bad situation. For my students, I encourage them to start the year with a good attitude. 

In college I had a science class that was rigorous. For exams, it would take 8-12 hours to study the details needed for the exams. My professor was intelligent, and his material was difficult, but I learned so much from him, and not just in science. I decided on the first day of class that I would walk into the classroom with this phrase in my head, “I love science.” The irony is that I hated my science classes in high school. I had to pass this class, so I decided that I loved science. This class was earth science, so I had to love rocks. I loved rock music, but I had no idea how I was going to love rocks. 

At the end of the year, I not only loved the class, the professor, but I also loved rocks! I learned how earthquakes are formed, which was very important for me as I moved from Ohio to California. Not only did I pass the class, but I passed with high marks. My attitude changed. I realized that with a better attitude I could conquer what I disliked but had to do. So, whatever the mundane is that you have to do, try to find a way to love it. Then, when you give yourself a restart, that love will drive you to become better at the task that you hate. At least, you will appreciate it. 

Finally, you have to be prepared. Along with supplies and a good attitude, you have to adapt to changes. Every day has its own challenges. Every day brings us new opportunities. We have to make the most of them. As a teacher, I have found that the more prepared I am as a person and then a teacher, the day is smooth. I lay out my clothes the night before and fix my lunch. I make sure I have enough gas. I have my materials ready for the first class of the day. These little tasks help me be prepared and helps me start fresh. 

Being prepared doesn’t mean that everything will be smooth and perfect. It means that you prepare what you can so that when a crisis arises, you will be able to confront it. The more prepared I am for the start of a class, the less I have to worry about when an interruption occurs. 

Instead of just setting goals and dreams for the new year, try to set goals and steps to achieve them each day. The more you see each day as a new beginning, the better you become as a person in every area of your life. I hope our children have a great school year. I hope they are prepared with their attitude and supplies. More importantly, I hope I am all that and armed with the strength of God. Go and start with the strength of God in your life. So, join the students and teachers and start fresh and new today! 

See Me as an Individual

You must see people as individuals and not as a group.” That phrase was stated in a video at the Auschwitz exhibit at the Reagan Library by a survivor of Auschwitz. He, along with others in the video were pleading for the listener to never allow something as horrific as the Holocaust to ever occur again. This quote has haunted me. I have in my lifetime judged people because of the group that they associate or belong. As I have grown and matured, I have discovered that not only is it wrong to judge people with their groups, but I don’t identify completely with the agenda that people thwart on my groups.  As I see the world changing, I have noticed that many people today judge others as a group. 

Let me ask you a question. Do you want to live in Florida? Your answer will reveal if you judge people as a group or individuals. I chose that state because so many people, including my students, judge the state according to what the media says about it. I hear the following phrases: “People in Florida are racist.” “People in Florida are homophobic.” “People in Florida are crazy or stupid.” I do take a slight offense at these statements as that is the state in which I grew up. 

I had a beautiful education in Florida in a diverse city with a diverse school, but I still get the “look” when I tell people that I grew up in Florida. By the way, I know people today in Florida who are anti-racists, homosexuals, and highly intelligent. I lived there. I know individuals. Now that I live in Los Angeles, people ask me if I know a movie star. Some people think I am crazy for living here. I wonder if it is where I live that gets labeled as a place that has crazy people. Hmm…

When we don’t see people as individuals, we become arrogant and believe we are superior. It’s how it all started in the Holocaust. It sounded so good. It was so wrong. We have judged groups of people on their ethnicity. We have judged the entire church because a few horrible evil people infiltrated themselves into the church and did evil acts. I struggled with the church as an entity, until I realized that I too was part of the problem. 

So, what do we do? Do we just shift our thinking? In a way, yes. We must see people as individuals. It starts with getting to know individuals. It requires asking questions, and it requires you to look at yourself more than you do at others. 

If you see an entire group of people as one way, you need to get to know individuals within that group. I would encourage getting to know people in-person rather than online because we can hide our true identity online. We can lie as we sit behind a computer better than we can in-person because people can evaluate our body language and our inflection in our voices. We are more honest and truer to who we are in-person. 

Join groups where these groups may exist. Serve in your community to get to know various people groups. You will be surprised that when you get to know individuals, that your point of view as them as a group was skewed because the media you follow only sees the point of view as a group, not individuals. 

Ask questions. People in our current society do not like questions because they either fear they don’t have the answer, or the question is revealing the truth. The most successful people and the most intelligent people ask questions. Don’t ask questions with people who agree with your point of view but to those who have a different point of view than you. You may learn something. Don’t argue. Listen. Listen to understand. You don’t have to agree, but you will be wiser when you leave the conversation. 

Judge yourself more than you do others. Look and see your own sins rather than worrying about the sins of someone you have never met and will never meet. What flaws do you fear people will see in you? Do people judge you as a group with those flaws? Why do you insist to put other people’s flaws on a public forum but hid your flaws? Ask yourself those questions. You may realize that the work you must do in this life to make the world a better place is to work on yourself. 

 

Find something about yourself that goes against what the mob mentality says about you because you are part of a specific group of people because of your ethnicity, gender, age, religion, or political affiliation. When you are able to see that you are not who the group says you are, then you must deduct that other people in other groups are not who society has said they are either.  

Take some time to get to know people as individuals. Start seeing the evil that people do as an individual and not as a group. Find the similarities that you have with someone who is different than you. Maybe, just maybe the mob mentality of the media has lied so much that we have begun to believe the lie. Let’s turn around and find and listen to the truth. May we never be so ignorant in our society to allow an atrocity like the Holocaust to ever occur again. 

 

Free Isn't Free

 This last Saturday, we went to the Angels baseball game as per usual with our season tickets. We left early knowing there would be a line for the “free” giveaway. We were about two hours ahead of the game starting. It was sold out. The line to get into the stadium wrapped around the entire stadium. We were in the back. The reason? That “free” giveaway was a Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout bobblehead. That’s right. The two greatest players in baseball, and they had a “free” giveaway to that game. People were more excited about the bobbleheads than the game, but were they really free? 

Someone somewhere has to pay for what you receive for free. Those bobbleheads were sponsored by two of the companies that advertise at Angel Stadium. The price of the ticket is always higher on a giveaway night, so the consumer also pays for the “free” gift. I watched people get their bobbleheads and leave. What? That’s not free at all! That’s how many people treat the freedom that we have in our country and with Jesus. They take it and go about their business and hoard the freedom for themselves. 

Over two hundred years ago, men fought on the battlefield for their freedom from the ruler of the king of England. They wanted to be free to choose what to believe, think, vote for their own leaders, and not have a leader who is just born into the job, and freedom to choose their own career. The battles were gruesome, but we have benefitted from those lives as we enjoy those freedoms today. 

We are not a perfect country because we are a country full of people, and unfortunately, a country filled with imperfect people. We have made mistakes in the past, and we are trying to make those wrongs right as we are evolving in our knowledge and wisdom. No country is perfect. No country will agree with everyone on everything. If there is a country like that, then you need to stay away because either the residents are robots, brainwashed, or waiting for the chance to have an uprising. 

We cannot just take our freedom and hoard it. We must stay in the game and bring others into our space with freedom for them too. With freedom comes responsibility. We must have a value system that keeps others from harm. Violence is not a sign of freedom with people being able to do what they want, but a lack of responsibility with the freedom to choose because they are harming others. With our responsibility, we can make the right choices, and others will want the freedom that we have. 

Over two thousand years ago, Jesus died for our sins and gave us freedom from sin. We cannot just take that freedom and go and live by ourselves. We must share that freedom with others. We must stay and cheer for the team to be better with their freedom and grace. We must share the love of Jesus with others with our actions, and sometimes, we should use words. 

With those inside the church who have the freedom that Jesus gives, we must have grace and mercy. Jesus gave us grace and mercy with his sacrifice on the cross. Only a person with no sin could save us from our sins, as the Israelites had to sacrifice a perfect lamb for the forgiveness of sins. Jesus was that perfect sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed his life for the people in prison, the strange people on social media, and the people inside the church who judge and are authoritarian. 

No church is perfect because it has people inside it. People leave the church all the time because they cannot stand the hypocrites or the sinners inside it, while they themselves have sins that they refuse to allow others to see or know. We must make space for all people to enter into the church and receive the love of Jesus. For some people it will take a long time for them to know and understand the love of Jesus, even if they have been in the church a long time. We must wait with them on God’s time, and not put them on our timetable. That is our responsibility as Christians. 

We have the responsibility as Christians to love others so they can enjoy the freedom of Christ. It’s not our responsibility to judge them or to change their theological beliefs. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love brings freedom. When we love people with the love of Jesus. we love them with patience, kindness, and we don’t keep reminding them of the wrongs that they have committed in the past. That brings freedom to the church and to you. 

Today, as we celebrate the birthday of our country and the freedom we have in this country. Let us remember that nothing is free. We have a responsibility with our freedom because someone has paid a high cost for the freedom we have. Those bobbleheads at Angel Stadium were paid by City Connect and Yakult, and the fans. Instead of grabbing your gift of freedom and running home to hoard or sell it, stick around, and support the rest of us as we fight together to keep the freedoms that we have in this country and share the freedom that we have in Christ. 

Summer Dreaming

 As a high school teacher, I get the pleasure of attending high school graduation every year. Since I teach juniors and have taught seniors, it is always a delight to think of how far the students have grown and what their future may hold. It makes me reminiscent of my graduations from high school and college. In those days, I had big dreams. Some of those dreams were realized. Other dreams are put on hold. Some dreams were a bit ridiculous, like being a Rockette on Broadway, so they have changed, but it has not stopped me from dreaming. 

“You’re never too old to begin working on your dreams.” In March of 2007, when my pastor said that quote, I went to a coffee shop and began working on my writing and taking it seriously. I shared my pastor’s words with my mom, and she began to write. Her book was published two years later when she was seventy-eight years old, which was another reminder that I was not too old to work on my dreams. I will not become a Rockette on Broadway, but with my writing, my dreams of today have much more importance.

Many people have dreams. They don’t seem them come to fruition because of obstacles. Obstacles determine if you are just dreaming or if you are setting goals. Obstacles and barriers will always come into your life. It’s not the obstacles or barriers, it’s how you choose to maneuver your life to continue to reach your goal or dream with removing the barriers or getting them out of your way. 

There were some parts of my life that had to change. I had to learn to manage my time. I had to learn to say, “No,” to things that were not going to give me any time to write. I had to learn to take risks and go places that would further my writing career. My writing dreams became writing goals. 

Managing Time

I’m consistently working on managing my time. I have had a commute to work for the past two years that took almost an hour to get to work and sometimes up to two hours to get home. I found getting to the coffee shop early in the morning before work was my best writing mode; however, I also would sometimes go after work because I wanted to wait out the traffic. The one thing I knew I couldn’t do was make excuses. “Excuses are like butts. We all have them and they all stink.” My coworker in middle school would tell his students that all the time. It hasn’t been easy, but removing the barrier of time has helped me with my writing with articles, blogs, and a newsletter for a group with which I intern. 

Time will always pass. How you choose to spend your time will reveal what is important to you. You must manage your time rather than having time manage you. The people who reach their dreams and goals manage their time well. You will always have down time to watch television or to play games, but you must manage how much time you will allow for that. 

The Power of NO

Along with managing time, is its close relative of saying, “No,” especially to tasks that invade your time or have little or nothing to do with your talents, gifts, or goals. 

One of my flaws is that I can tend to be a people pleaser. In church, that can be a problem. For one, we are to please God, not human beings. For another, it consumes our time which then become a barrier for us to manage our time. If you want to reach your goals, you must say, “No.” People will guilt-shame and gaslight you. Remember, you are aiming to please God and not human beings. 

Once I left my career in youth ministry, I learned the power of the word, “No.” I did not use that power when I was in youth ministry, so I wasted a lot of time doing tasks that were not in my gifts. I wasted time doing tasks that I could have delegated to others. I spent time in spaces in my ministry when I could have been building friendships with people my age. I don’t blame the church. I blame me. I should have said, “No.” God took time to rest. Jesus went off by himself. I’m not God or Jesus, so I need to not believe that I can do everything. Doing a task begrudgingly or outside of my talents is not helpful to anyone, especially if you have to eat it. Empower yourself. Say, “No,” and stick with it. When you give yourself the permission to say, “No,” you are saying, “Yes,” to that which matters. 

Taking Risks

I used to think I was good at taking risks. I wasn’t. I was safe. Taking risks is not doing something new. It’s taking a step in a direction to help you achieve your goals or make you a stronger person. I was a wimp. I made excuses of why I couldn’t go to writing seminars or join writing groups. The more I took real risks, the better I became at reaching my goals and becoming better at my craft. 

I took free Improv classes, of which I wasn’t good, but it taught me to write better, and taught me to make a fool of myself and learn from some of the best people.  I went to writing seminars. I went to seminars of how to write screenplays. I met some amazing writers who taught how to write stories, whether they were for the screen or in a book. I went to a writing conference, which changed everything for me. At that conference, I met Kathi Lipp, who is not my writing coach as I’m part of a writing group that gives supports and classes to improve our craft. 

It may not seem like a risk to go to a seminar or a conference, but it is. You must realize that in order to reach your goal, you must surround yourself with others who have achieved more than you in your field. Allowing others to critique my work has been scary, but it has always been a benefit. Whatever it is that you need to do, take that risk to make yourself a stronger person and get you one step closer to achieving your goal. 

As the high school students cross the stage, I mentally tell them to keep dreaming. As adults, we cannot stop dreaming and setting goals. The world needs are talents and gifts. It is with our talents and gifts that people will meet Jesus. We are halfway through the year 2023. Now is the time to begin to start working on your dreams and goals. You are not too old. You are not too late. Your goals and dreams may have changed, and like me, you’re not a Rockette on a Broadway, but your dreams and goals today will make a difference in a life in the future. 

Freedom Comes with a High Price

 Today is Memorial Day. This holiday is not about gathering with other people and having barbeques. Although that is a great way to demonstrate freedom, it is not the meaning of the day. This day is about remembering and celebrating those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom. We live in a free country in which we can think, believe, and say what we want, regardless of what some people want to believe. Our freedom comes with a high price as many lost their lives for our freedom. Since some have given everything for our freedom, we must become responsible with our freedom. 

Being responsible with our freedom means we may have to refrain from speaking all of our thoughts. We can be free with our speech and still be kind and reveal the love of Jesus. The evil that exists in our society will always be there. We don’t have to respond to all of the evil with a cliché or a clever statement in an argument. We can respond with being kind to our fellow human beings. When we are responsible with our mouths, those outside of the church notice because they usually only hear the reckless words that come out of the mouths of Christians. Soldiers fought and died so all could have the freedom of speech. 

Being responsible with our freedom also means that we stand up for those who are suffering. We work as a church to find solutions for the homeless. We work as a church to find solutions for the disparity in education. (There are huge gaps with minority groups and the poor.) We walk inside of the walls of those places that need help instead of scream on social media how they are doing it all wrong. That doesn’t help anyone, and the people on the inside do not listen because they know that the problem is much bigger. Soldiers fought and died so all could have a place to be home and an education that continues to bring freedom to our country. 

Being responsible with our freedom means we genuinely care for others. Find a space to serve those who are in need. We can have good thoughts and prayers, but once we start serving, then we realize the true work that needs to be done. As much as I am an advocate to serve at church, our society needs our hands and feet outside of the church walls. Find an area where you can serve, whether it is in your career or not. Serve your coworkers and those whom you influence daily. Our soldiers fought and died serving their country. We can find small ways to serve others. 

Jesus gave his life and gave us the ultimate freedom from our sins. We do not have to be concerned with the sins of other people. Once we accept Jesus, we know that we are clean from sin and are free to live our lives. With the freedom, comes the responsibility to love others with the love of Jesus. With that freedom, comes the responsibility to serve others with the love of Jesus. With that freedom comes the responsibility to forgive as Jesus forgave us. 

Freedom. It is a word that we love to say, but it is a word that requires action. Today, as we honor those who fought and died for our freedom, may we think of ways that we can serve others as we remember them and Jesus who fought and died for us.  

A Night of Thanks

 In the midst of a society that is greedy and unappreciative, I was able to witness an evening of thanks. My school where I teach has a tradition. We have a senior dinner. At this dinner, the students receive all their cords and sashes for graduation. Then, there are the speeches. Each and every senior has written a thank you note to their parents/guardians. They wrote them on index cards and gave the speeches in front of the entire class of seniors, parents, and teachers at the dinner. The beauty began. 

Big, tough young men broke down into tears thanking their parents for all that they did in their lives to bring them to their graduation from high school. Some students apologized to their parents for all the trouble they caused them. Students confessed that they loved their parents. Parents were in tears. Then, the last kid gave his speech. This big jokester who will go to a four-year college thanked his single mom. Then, he turned and like many others thanked the staff and teachers. As  he turned to his math teacher, he thanked him for being his father figure and that now he has a dad in his life. My co-worker, a girl dad, was brought to tears. 

These young people reminded me that we must take the time to thank the people in our lives that have made a difference. So many people reserve those words when those people are no longer in our lives. Whether it is from death, or they are no longer in our physical presence because of distance, we speak highly of them but not to them. That senior dinner reminded me to take the time to thank those who have shaped my thoughts while I am in their presence and not wait to speak about them to others. 

Vulnerability is an action that most people would prefer to stay away from. Scroll through any social media site and people are blasting other people and never exposing themselves and their flaws. People would rather present themselves as perfect than be vulnerable. This senior dinner put into practice what we have been teaching our students. We have taught them to be vulnerable and honest. For one night, they put that into practice. It is difficult, but the things worth doing in life are the most difficult. 

So many of us are wasting our time insulting others instead of building others up. The Bible implores us to encourage one another. Anyone can insult. You may think you are better than the person that you insulted, but you are not. In fact, you just revealed that you are weak and unable to have a conversation with someone to discuss the differences and still remain respectful. The people who can empower others with their words are the people who reveal their confidence and the people that are remembered. 

I have been guilty of insulting others both in-person and online. I have repented from those days. It took someone being frustrated with me that I realized that she just needed to be valued by others. I then changed my words when I approached people. I empowered and encouraged them before I would do anything else, especially those in leadership in the church. I know what it is like since I have been on church staff. Even after I have been out of youth ministry for several years, some of my former parishioners would rather insult me than empower me. I am trying to empower them back now. 

Think of the people who have made a difference in your life. They were not perfect. In fact, their imperfections may have encouraged you to not have to be perfect. Look at the qualities that they have that have inspired you. It is those qualities you can appreciate. You can learn from their imperfections that even though no one is perfect, they still have a purpose in life, and they still influence others around them. 

Who have you influenced? What would people say about you? More importantly, who has influenced you? What have you said to them? Are you known to be someone who shows appreciation and empowers others, or are you the one who believes that you are better than others and you are insulting others? Here is my challenge. Take the time to thank someone who has influenced you in your life. Look for that teacher who made a difference, or that pastor, or that youth pastor. Once I found some of my mentors online, I thanked them for their influence. It takes a few moments. It lasts a lifetime. 

Do We Disown People for Their Beleifs?

 “Tom Hanks should disown his son!” I have read that quote more than once on Twitter. The reason people believe that Tom Hanks should disown his son is because his son is a conservative republican. Tom Hanks, as far as the public knows, is a liberal democrat. He has a beautiful and respectful relationship with his son. So, why would people think he should disown his son because his political beliefs are different from his? We live in a polarized society that lives at a middle school social level that if you do not 100% agree with someone, you should cut them out of your life. The problem with that idea is that we lack wisdom, knowledge, and the ability to love people. 

In the book of James, we are informed that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God. The problem is that many people may not recognize that they lack wisdom. They may have a lot of knowledge, but they lack wisdom. They may have been the valedictorian of their high school, but without wisdom, they refuse to allow those with differing viewpoints to partake in their lives. That is foolish. If you do not understand what those with differing views believe, how can you manage to understand how other people live their lives? How can you learn? 

Wisdom demands understanding. We must strive to understand people, even if we do not agree with them. There are life circumstances that have brought them to their beliefs. Jesus understands us, or as the advertisements tells us, He gets us. He gets us because of his wisdom, he understands us. He understands us because he walked with us. You begin to understand people when you walk with them. You open yourself up to see the person for who he or she is without prejudgment. When you listen and understand people, they are more open to listening and understanding you. It’s how many people have come to know Jesus. 

Along with wisdom, we must strive to always learn and to continue to gain knowledge. One way to learn is to listen to people who think and believe differently than you. Ask them questions without being sarcastic or mean. Be genuine with your questions. What is it that has brought them to this place and idea? Where can you learn more about their ideals? What books can you read?  

I have discovered that with reading books that align with what I believe is great because it strengthens my thoughts. I also have read books that do not align completely with my beliefs or ideals. If I ask people who don’t believe in the Bible to read it, but if I haven’t understood their beliefs, then how am going to expect them to read a book that I believe? Reading is not dangerous. Not reading is dangerous because it keeps you in the dark from information that can guide you to understand others in life. 

Knowledge will lead you to understanding. To know how and why others believe what they do simmers your anger. You realize that their life experiences align with their beliefs. This helps in explaining to someone how Jesus can change their life. It’s difficult to explain to someone that Jesus will change their life and make it better when they believe that their life is perfect. You have to admit to your imperfections and that you are always willing to learn and gain knowledge to understand another person. 

“Knowledge puffs up but loves build up.” (1 Corinthians 8:1, CSB) It’s unfair that I use this verse after I just wrote to get knowledge, but you must understand that with your knowledge you must still show love to people, especially those who are different from you. Without love, your knowledge is useless. This is where many Christians struggle, including myself. 

For years, I relied on my knowledge as a Christian. I tried to force people to believe and think like me. I discovered the danger of desiring everyone to think and believe like me when I started to add wisdom and love to my knowledge. Knowledge helped me understand who God is and what a Christian life should be. Wisdom helped me understand the grace that God has for me, and the grace I need to have for others. 

Love will never disown someone because he or she believes differently than you. Love respects someone who is different and listens. Love listens. Love respects. Love does not have to agree. Love does not insult. Love finds common ground. 

Common ground can be that you have the same interest as someone else. Love can be allowing someone to live their beliefs without insulting them. Love does not insult and call people names. Once you insult and are mean in conversations, it shows your lack of knowledge, and you lose the debate. Love allows people to live without affirmation of their lifestyle. Love does not demand. Love invites. When you begin loving people, you will see that you can love them even when they believe differently than you. 

Tom Hanks and his son both set an example for us all how two people can have a strong relationship with different agendas and beliefs. You should never disown or block those who think and believe differently than you. Invite them into your life and space. Learn from them and let them learn from you. Jesus taught everyone he encountered. He didn’t demand. He invited. Love with the love of Jesus and watch your relationships flourish.